For Your Entertainment
by ShadowLev
Summary: After James and Logan get high, James confesses something to Logan, who convinces him to tell the entire band. James then goes through a series of bad boyfriends who Logan has to then save him from. James/OMC, James/Logan eventually. Warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1

Hey, I've published a lot of fanfics before for various communities, but never for Big Time Rush. It's my newest obsession.

Summary: James finds Logan's pot stash. They get high and James confesses that he's gay. Logan convinces him to come out to the band and James goes through a host of bad boyfriends with Logan rescuing him between each.

WARNINGS: There will be a lot of drug use (hey, it's LA), there will be gay sex, there will be dubious consent i.e. rape, and there will be gay love. If it bothers you, don't read it.

James/Logan

Listened to a lot of Adam Lambert writing this, and a lot of BTR

* * *

"Logan? Did you hide my silver-lined purple skull bandana?" James' voice yelled from Logan's room. Logan turned around from his position reading a medical book. He couldn't see James through his bedroom door, but several pieces of clothing flew against the wall.

"Dude, are you going through my sock drawer?" Logan yelped and flew towards his and Carlos's room.

"What, is this where you keep you- Hey what's this?" James exclaimed, holding up a black zip bag. Logan moved to prevent James from opening it.

"Wait, don't open.." Logan said as he tripped over the doorframe. The moment's delay allowed James to unzip the bag and pull out the dime bag of pot. James' eyes widened and his mouth dropped open, which was comical even given the circumstances. Logan smirked it off.

"What, you never seen a bag of weed before?" Logan said and reached out to take it and the black bag from him. James let him take the objects.

"No, I haven't actually," James said before staring suspiciously at the bag, "Where did you get those?" Logan sighed.

"Remember when we all had Hollywood fever and I got obsessed with bongos and being peaceful? Normal people don't tell people to 'hop aboard the Logan train to mellowville'. I was stoned out of my mind," Logan laughed, then looked at the dime bag in his hand, "This is just leftover from then, I told myself I wouldn't do it alone again, or I wouldn't be able to stop myself from seeking out the bongos again."

James looked around nervously. He snuck to the door and looked outside. He checked the closets and windows. Logan watched with a quirked eyebrow.

"What are you doing?" Logan asked. James gave one last look outside the door before closing it and leaning against it. He pointed to the baggie.

"Can I smoke with you?" James asked urgently, hesitated, then smiled charmingly. Logan smiled.

"Sure, but we have to wait until Mama Knight, Katie, and Kendall leave for their aunt's house tonight. Carlos is having a sleep out in the lobby with some friends." Logan said and put the black pouch into the pocket of his blue hoodie.

…

Logan watched as the Knights left in their rental car before he turned to go to his room. When he turned around, however, he discovered a James in his path. He blinked.

"How did you get there without me knowing?" Logan asked, hesitated, and then shook his head before saying, "Never mind, I don't wanna know."

"C'mon, lets go in my room. Carlos has this…smell about him that may be associated with the combination of body odor and copious amounts of cologne that manages to mask any traces of smoke," Logan said as he pushed his way into the room and sat down cross legged on his bed. James closed the door and went to sit across from him. Logan proceeded to lay out his utensils.

"So, what do I do?" James asked and picked up the lighter. He flicked the wheel, trying to ignite it, but failed. Logan smirked and took it away from him.

"Just watch," Logan said and pulled a paper from a small container. He laid it atop his bag and opened the dime bag. As he skillfully loaded the weed into the paper and rolled it, he periodically glanced up to look at James. He pouted for a few seconds after the lighter was taken away, but his curiosity soon overcame his indignation. He picked up the next unusual looking piece.

"What's this," James asked, examining what looked like a toilet paper roll with dryer sheets wrapped around it and stuffed inside of it. Logan smiled and began rolling another joint.

"It's called a floobie. If you blow the smoke inside it, the dryer sheets trap the odor. Carlos won't be able to smell it, but Mama Knight has wicked nasal power. And I'm more afraid of Mama Knight's reaction than Carlos's" Logan said and packed the bag and the papers away. He stuffed it into his pocket and picked up the joint and lighter. He lit it and took a drag. Pulling away, Logan waited a few seconds before motioning for the floobie. He exhaled into the tube then handed the joint and the tube to James.

James put the joint to his lips, inhaled deeply, then began coughing as his throat rejected the heat. Puffs of smoke began escaping his mouth and nose.

"Shit!" Logan squeaked as he grabbed the joint in one hand and used the other to drag James' head into his sweatshirt. James hacked and wheezed into the soft fabric until he regained control of his breathing. Meanwhile, Logan giggled and took another drag, exhaling into the tube.

"It's ok, everyone does it their first time," Logan said and let James try again. This time, James inhaled less deeply and had more success. He could feel the world slowing down already. They passed the joint back and forth in silence until it disappeared. James didn't know when he made the decision to get up and root through the cabinets, but he knew it was a good idea when he found an unopened box of Oreos. He ripped open the top and grabbed a cookie. He pried the top off with his teeth, ate it, and licked off the cream as he returned to the room. Logan smirked at the Oreos and settled back against the headboard. James flopped onto his stomach and continued licking his Oreo seductively.

Suddenly, James stopped mid-lick and looked up at Logan. He seemed confused that Logan was watching him.

"Can I tell you something?" James asked. Logan nodded. The pretty boy frowned, "I mean, if I tell you something that's a secret, will you promise not to tell anyone or to judge me?"

"Dude, you found my pot stash today. You're my friend, nothing you say can change that," Logan added at the anxious look on James face. James sighed and rolled over onto his back.

"I haven't told anyone else this because I'm terrified of their reactions and I'm afraid of what the others will think 'nd I'm afraid of what it'll do to the band and to my career and to my future and then I start worrying over-" James said and tapered off, forgetting where the conversation was going. Logan snapped his fingers in the brunette's face.

"So what's your secret?" Logan asked. James sighed and rubbed his face.

"Logan, I'm gay," James spat and rolled over, burying his face in his arms. Logan watched, pulled out the other joint and lit up. After taking a hearty drag, he tapped James on the shoulder and offered the joint. The boy looked up questioningly and took the proffered blunt. Logan examined his buddy's face, noting the ashen complexion, the chewed lip, and the shining (albeit red and pupil-blown) eyes. Then he smiled and patted James on the shoulder gently.

"Dude, I could care less if you choose a girl, a boy, or a bandana to love. You shouldn't either," Logan said, "Let James be James."

James nodded and took another hit before passing the blunt back to Logan. The ashen complexion had taken a bit more color, but he still trembled and his eyes still had that shimmery look to them. Logan took a hit and smiled up into the air.

"Being a member of the intellectual community, I know that judging others leaves yourself wide open to critiques on your own lifestyle. Personally, I find both sexes attractive," Logan murmured and watched as James buried a fist into the Oreo box and unearth several cookies. He glanced at the burning joint, then to the cookie-preoccupied James, then back to the joint and shrugged and took another hit.

"So," James said through a mouthful of cookie crumbs, "Have you ever experimented with another guy?" Logan took another hit.

"Well, back in Minnesota I ended up on a failed double date where both the girls left and the guy and I got tongue tied," Logan said and winked, "Have you?"

James shook his head, "I guess I was afraid of people's reactions," he said and swallowed, staring at the box of Oreos contemplatively. Logan looked at the blunt again then at James.

"Wanna shotgun a hit?" he asked. James raised an eyebrow. Logan took a hit and moved forward on his knees until he was hovering over James. He pressed his lips down into the pretty boy's and used a hand to pry his mouth slightly open before exhaling into James' mouth. The brunette's eyes shot open wide and he went stiff, but he inhaled anyway. Logan pulled off and looked into James' eyes.

"Now blow it back," he commanded and put his lips back over the other boy's. James exhaled and Logan breathed in. He sat back on his heels and blew off into the floobie. James cleared his throat.

"I like that way better," he said huskily. Logan smirked, took another hit, and leaned forward again.

…

Carlos thumped into his room at 4:00 am and raised an eyebrow. Logan lay spooning against James, who was consequently using Logan's arm as a pillow. He also noted the half empty box of Oreos.

"I guess they had quite a chat," Carlos murmured to himself and plowed headfirst into the nest of blankets, old clothing, and magazines that was his bed and promptly fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

This is pretty much a transition chapter, lighter than the next couple of chapters. Thank you reviewers, you gave me exigency to update sooner than I otherwise might have.

* * *

Logan groaned as the sun baked his body. He lifted his head tiredly, but dropped it back after realizing that he was too tired to move. So instead of trying to fight the heat, he just accepted and enjoyed it. Until his consciousness began to kick in and tell him where his body parts were. Logan creaked open an eye and looked down to see that both his arms were securely wrapped around James's head, whose face was buried in his chest. One of his legs was thrown over James' stomach and curled around his hip and the other was securely encapsulated by James' legs.

Logan wondered where James' hands were, but his awakening consciousness found one pinned beneath him and the mattress and then the other gripped firmly on his ass. However, his body refused to participate in untangling himself from his best bud and he let his head fall back into the pillow.

"Duuuude, I can't breathe," said a voice from below. Logan looked to see his cuddle buddy awakening. He forced his arms to release the tousle headed brunette's head. James looked up blearily and released Logan's left butt cheek. Slowly, the two untangled themselves and lay side by side, still reveling in the peaceful droning of Carlos's snoring. James furrowed his eyebrows in thought. He looked over at Logan.

"Um," James started, " I don't think that a relationship in the band would be a good idea," he said hesitantly. Logan closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Logan sighed and looked over at James, "But you should still tell the others. We aren't really big on secrets."

"Says the guy with the pot in his drawer," James said frumpishly.

"Why does Logan have a pot in his drawer?" Carlos murmured dreamily. Logan raised his eyebrow.

"How much of that conversation did you here, Carlos?" Logan asked. Carlos lifted his head to look over.

"Only the part with the pot," Carlos replied. Logan looked James in the eye and back at Carlos.

"It's not a pot, it's pot. As in weed, mj, or marijuana, and I got it from guitar dude," Logan said across the gap. Carlos raised an eyebrow.

"Huh, you'll have to let me get high with you sometime," Carlos said and lay back down, "makes a lot of sense, though."

James sighed and let his head fall back.

…

"I'm really not sure if I'm ready to come out to the band yet," James murmured to Logan as they herded into the limo to go to the studio.

"It's better to get it off your chest, and this will free you up to date. Believe me, the guys aren't going to reject you no matter what," Logan said and patted James on the back as he followed him into the limo. The door shut and as the limo pulled away, James cleared his throat and looked down.

"Hey guys, um, I have to tell you something," James said without looking up.

"What, do you have a secret stash of pot too?" Kendall asked. Kelly's eye went wide and she flustered.

"No, but that's how I first got the courage to tell Logan about it," James said. Kelly gaped, looking from James to Logan, still unable to speak. Logan smiled and patted James on the shoulder. The brunette still stared at the floor of the limo.

"Guys, um, I'm gay," James stuttered. Kendall and Carlos exchanged looks, shrugged, and smiled.

"Cool," Kendall said. James looked up at his best friends. Carlos smiled at James, grabbed his shoulder, and shook it comfortingly.

"This means that I have a better shot at the girls," Carlos said happily. James laughed in relief. Kendall noticed how much James's hands shook and gripped his knee.

"Buddy, if it's one thing this band is about, it's being yourself. If you love a dude, we won't hold you back," Kendall said and leaned back. Kelly sat quietly with her mouth and eyes wide open. As the limo pulled up, she got out and walked briskly to Gustavo's office. The four boys exchanged glances and followed her.

Gustavo listened with an eyebrow quirked as Kelly whispered in his ear. He stood up and walked around to the boys.

"Logan, James, front and center," He ordered. The two stepped forward. Gustavo looked back and forth at them before ordering, "Handstands, now!"

James and Logan winced at the order and hurriedly inverted for fear of Freight Train's infamous hugs. Gustavo held onto both of their legs to keep them from falling. They began to gasp from exertion.

"What is this I hear about drugs," Gustavo asked, "And don't bother leaving anything out, or you'll be doing one-handed handstands."

"I got pot from guitar dude back when we had Hollywood fever and smoked it all the time then stopped when we were cured and I had a lot left over and then James found it so we smoked last night," Logan gasped out. Gustavo looked down at them.

"Just pot, nothing else?" he asked. James and Logan shook their heads. Gustavo released their legs and they fell down.

"Look, if it's only pot, then I don't care if you smoke. But, I don't want you coming to work hung-over or high and I don't want you smoking in public because it looks really bad. And I don't want you getting your pot from guitar dude. We have no leverage over him," Gustavo said and wrote down a name and phone number on a piece of paper. He handed it to Logan, "If you need to buy, buy from this guy. He owes me more money than the government and that means he won't talk to police. And, if I get word that any of you boys are using heavier stuff; i.e., meth, heroine, cocaine, LSD, then I kill some dogs and have them stuffed. Got it?"

All four dogs nodded. Gustavo nodded then turned to James. He looked him up and down before screaming,

"Why didn't you tell me you were gay!" He yelled at the brunette. James jumped back into Carlos's chest. Kendall began to step forward, ready to jump in to defend his best bud. Gustavo continued, "If there is one thing that the public loves more than the bad boy, it's the gay boy. Now, find yourself a boyfriend," Gustavo shouted and went back towards his office. James quirked an eyebrow and shrugged. He turned to Logan as the band went towards the dance studio.

"Sorry I got you busted," James murmured. Logan shrugged.

"Hey, I have a more reliable dealer than guitar dude," Logan said and pocketed the phone number.

…

James loved parties. Anyone could tell this by seeing him dancing in his party outfit. He had chosen his outfit to be seductive, but he may have gone a little overboard. Black skinny jeans, purple shirt, silver vest, and a purple and black fedora might as well be screaming that this boy was fabulous. Then again, it did work.

Halfway through his favorite song, a taller guy with a shaved head and muscles came up and started dancing with him.

"Hey cutie, I'm Travis," the guy said. James quirked an eyebrow and smirked.

"Shhhh, let me finish this song," James shouted and continued dancing, but began to edge closer to Travis in the meantime. As the song came to crescendo, James headed off the dance floor with Travis on his tail. He grabbed a cup of soda from the refreshment table.

"So, I heard you cruise the gay scene?" Travis started. James quirked an eyebrow.

"And how would you know that?" James asked. Travis glanced over to someone on the dance floor.

"Your friend sent me over," Travis said and James turned to see that he was nodding at Logan, who was busy awkwardly dancing with an enthusiastic Camille. James smirked and looked back up at Travis.

"How do you know Logan?" James asked.

"He and my buddy Max have a homework group, Max introduced me to Logan as 'his homofabulous bff' and Logan pointed you out," Travis said and offered James a grin that was half predatory. James raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I'm James and I love to dance. If you can keep up with me, I'll give you my number," he said and headed off to the dance floor. Travis raised an eyebrow and followed.

Logan sighed and turned back to Camille before she pulled a reality tv show and smacked him in the face.

* * *

The next chapter will contain attempted rape, just to warn you before you read. Just to let you know my writing style, I have multiple chapters written up, but I read them through several times and as I write more chapters. I find it prevents me from posting characters too OOC.

And I'm watching Big Time Audition too much and 'awww'ing too much at the way Kendall defends James and the Logan cuteness factor.

Gustavo: "Oh, I just woke up, what time is it? It's Girl Time. Excuse me sir, do you know what time it is? Yeah, it's Girl Time"

Logan: "What if you have a sinus infection? Isn't that Doctor Time?"

Gustavo: "NO, IT'S STILL GIRL TIME"


	3. Chapter 3

Warning, this contains attempted rape. And I blame the song "For Your Entertainment" for this chapter right here. Oh, and Pulp Fiction. James is kind of OOC in this story for his self-destruction, but after watching people in Big Time Audition repeatedly tell him that they didn't like him, he had no talent, he was not great, and when he ran away terrified from the Cuda modeling job because he didn't think he was pretty enough, I think that the self-doubt and unworthiness are kind of fitting.

* * *

James winced at the slap that Travis just planted on his ass. He was getting less and less gentle. In the one week they had gone out, the occasional hand holding and face caress had moved on to sloppy kisses to heavy make out sessions that left James feeling slightly dirty. Whenever he complained that things were going too fast, he was still getting used to the whole gay thing, Travis told him that he didn't have to be monogamous. The idea that James wasn't enough terrified him, and so he stopped talking and let Travis grope him. Now, he was hanging at Travis's hotel room for a night that was supposedly only for watching the soccer world cup.

It seemed that watching wasn't on Travis's mind for he was pinning James to the bed and ravaging his mouth. Sure, Travis was a good kisser. He melded their lips together, caressing James's lips and tongue with a pierced tongue, biting James's bottom lip until it was red and raw. Travis's mouth traveled down to James's neck, sucking and biting a purple hickey into the flesh in a way more pain than pleasure.

"We should fuck," Travis panted as his lips broke contact with James's flesh. The brunette's eyes burst wide open. He pushed Travis off.

"Dude," he said seriously, "This is going much too fast. I don't know the first thing about gay sex,"

Travis sighed and rolled his eyes, "Look, the only reason that I'm not out hitting the clubs and picking up tricks at bars is that you are incredibly attractive. But if you don't put out, then I'm going to have to go elsewhere. I have needs,"

"Hey, I'm a guy too and my 'needs' aren't to the point of needing to screw every few days," James said strongly before dropping his voice lower and staring at the bed sheet, "And, I'm kind of…a virgin," James blushed. Travis's smirk grew wicked and predatory.

"Baby," Travis said gently, kissing James's cheek gently, "it'll hurt at first, but then it'll get really good, I promise" at the distrustful look on James's face, Travis sighed and picked up his phone.

"Fine, I'll call Max and he'll tell you that it's fine, we're very open about fucking with each other," Travis said and waited for his buddy to answer, "Hey Max, James is about to get fucked into the mattress for the first time,"

"Travis!" James yelped exasperatedly. Travis chuckled deep in his throat.

"He's nervous, and I want you to reassure him that it'll be fine," Travis said and handed James the phone.

"Hey," James started. Max cut him off.

"Hey, this is Max and I'm not going to let Travis do that to you, he's not going to look out for you in your first time," the phone said in his ear, "I'm going to call Logan and we'll be there in a few minutes. Logan didn't know what he was getting you into, but I've watched too many cute boys walk out of Travis's room with tears in their eyes and bloodstains on their pants. So hang tight and say 'thanks' so he doesn't suspect anything,"

James nodded, "Thanks Max, I feel better," and James hung up. Just as he hung up the phone, Travis pounced on him. James fell back with a grunt. Travis pushed his lips against James's and his hands began to push tight jeans off of thin hips. James tried to protest, but his mouth was preoccupied and somehow Travis had gotten a hold of both his wrists in one hand and pinned them to the bed beneath James. James didn't know how Travis had done it, but in a matter of minutes he felt a sharp pressure increase on his asshole. With this, James finally began to struggle for real. His powerful hockey player legs planted firmly on Travis and kicked him off.

"You fucking bitch," Travis yelled and backhanded James across the face hard enough to draw blood with the metal ring, causing tears to well up, just as the door broke down. James looked over to see a blur as something launched into Travis, taking him off the bed. The blur and Travis ended up on the floor and the blur began punching Travis in the face.

"James!" yelled a concerned voice. James looked over to see Logan rushing towards him. He felt strong arms draw his jeans and boxers up from where they bunched on his thighs to preserve his modesty and bring his tear stained face to a soft t-shirt. He looked over to see Kendall dragging an enraged Carlos off of Travis's prone body. Another guy, Max it would seem, was checking the bruised body for a pulse.

"Fucking douche bag," Carlos snarled, trying to break free of Kendall, "Wait till my father gets a hold of this rapist motherfucker. No shit head hurts my friend,"

When reality hit, it hit harder than Travis's slap. Travis was bigger, stronger, and if his friends hadn't come he would have never had the strength to keep Travis off of him for long. If it hadn't been for Max's quick thinking, or his friends, he would be on his back or stomach right now…

James turned and buried his face in Logan's shirt, wrapping his arms around Logan's middle tightly and just shook. Logan looked down at the shaking boy in his arms. He gently stroked James's hair and held him tightly. Kendall reached over and put a hand on the shaking boy's shoulder.

Eventually when the shaking stopped, Logan and Kendall managed to get James off the bed and, with help from Carlos, managed to carry James between the two of them back to 2J, where his legs came back to life. James walked to the bathroom in hopes of taking a long shower, but these plans were disrupted when Logan followed him into the bathroom with an icepack and had him sit on the lid of the toilet. Carlos called his father and Kendall listened to the conversation with a sadistically gleeful smirk.

Logan soaked a washcloth in cold water and began dabbing at the blood from the cut on James's face. He knew that James could probably take care of the cut himself, but he wanted to talk. He had read a few books on psychology back in freshman year. He knew that this experience needed to be talked about before it was suppressed and popped up again with the next boyfriend. He looked into James's eyes again and was surprised to see tears welling up again.

"James?" Logan asked as he dabbed antibiotic cream onto the cut

"It's my fault for not putting out sooner," James murmured. Logan's eyes widened and he leaned back, incredulous that the books were right. James averted his eyes.

"Why would you say that?" Logan asked softly. James looked down. "Because if I hadn't been so unwilling, he would have been more gentle and wouldn't have had to push me. I should have just put out in the first place, it wouldn't have been so bad," James murmured with a sick little grin and a choked voice. Logan shook his head and reached down to pull up James's chin.

"Look, he shouldn't have been pressuring you so much, and if you don't consent then it is rape," Logan said firmly, even as James flinched at the word rape.

"I don't even know how the whole sex thing works, he just started to…push into me, but it hurt a lot and that's when I kicked him off," James said. Logan furrowed his brow and wiped his face with his hands. He looked back at James and saw that he looked ashamed. Logan sighed and reached over for a big cotton bandage.

"Ok, he was definitely not going to give you the first time you deserve," Logan said, "First off, he didn't prepare you at all. Anal sex requires a lot of lubricant and stretching before actual intercourse or you could tear. Especially for your first time. And second, that bastard didn't bother with a condom. He could easily have given you an STD, like HIV or Hepatitis," Logan said. James shuddered.

"Have you ever…" James started to ask and tapered off.

"No, but I've read about it. I was… curious about the subject," Logan added as an afterthought. James bit his lip and folded his arms.

"What?" Logan asked.

"You're my best friend and you've helped me a lot," James said, "Do you think that you could, you know…" James couldn't pick the words. The best he could come up with was an awkward hand gesture.

"Pop your cherry?" Logan supplemented crudely. James snorted, but nodded. Logan creased his brow, "Dude, you sure that you want to do this so soon after Travis?"

"Yeah, I trust you and I'd rather not be caught off guard again. It doesn't have to mean anything, just friend helping a friend out" James said. Logan nodded.

"Ok, let's wait until the guys leave again. I think that they're all going somewhere tomorrow night," Logan said and put the bloodstained washcloth into the sink and went to the bedroom to let James shower. He had to make sure he had everything he needed.

* * *

So, you can expect an upturn next chapter :3


	4. Chapter 4

I love reviewers, I've had a rush of inspiration and have written a lot thanks to you...and feel guilty about delaying posting more. I'm still sticking to my rule of reading everything through a couple of times, but I have enough written that I feel confident posting every day. Can't wait for "City is Ours" to come out :)

* * *

"Ok James," Logan said as he pushed the blanket off of his bed and stacked two pillows in about the center. James gulped and twitched nervously. He felt like a girl. Logan continued, rubbing his hands together, "First thing first is the foreplay. Major key to turning on the fire."

Logan reached up and brought down James's head so he could kiss him. James sighed at the tentative caress of Logan's lips as opposed to the harsh press of Travis's. Logan's hands caressed the back of his neck in away that caused tingles to travel down his spines. James felt a moist tongue sweep across his bottom lip and tickle the corners of his lips. He parted his lips slightly and felt Logan suck on his bottom lip. One of Logan's hands drew slowly up and down his bicep, tickling the little hairs on his skin. James let his hands travel up to settle on Logan's thin hips. James let his tongue reach forward and taste Logan's bottom lip, his teeth, and his tongue. Logan broke the kiss to breath hot breaths onto James's neck, before pecking little kisses under James's jaw. When Logan's hot mouth caressed the brunette's neck just below his ear, he threw back his head and let out a moan. He felt warm, calloused hands reach under his shirt and rub across his abs.

"You're so hot," Logan murmured as he leaned in closer until his entire lower half was plastered against James's. James let his hand travel underneath Logan's shirt to run up the shorter boy's back.

James felt Logan draw his shirt up and off and felt the chill of the room on his chest. He returned the favor and their bare chests pressed against each other. James gasped as one of Logan's hands pinched and caressed one of his nipples. The other stroked the bulge in his pants. James just let his hands roam all over Logan's back and chest, savoring the smooth skin and hard muscle.

Logan slowly drew down his zipper and popped open the button of his jeans, running one finger along the waistband of James's boxers. The brunette moaned and jerked forward. Logan smirked and drew down both the boxers and jeans until they fell and pooled around James's ankles. Logan's eyes widened almost imperceptibly and he cleared his throat. The taller boy's erection rubbed against Logan's waistband. James fumbled and pushed Logan's pants away.

Logan took his and James's erections in his hand and stroked up and down once. James let out a strangled gasp. Logan leaned up and pressed a kiss to James's lips again. With one hand, Logan led James to the bed and gently pushed him until he was lying over the pillows with his ass in the air. James took in a shaky breath. He felt strong, yet gentle hands part his legs and Logan settle between them.

"Now, the next part is preparation. I'm going to stretch you with my fingers. I'm using a lot of Astroglide, which is water based and won't damage the condoms," Logan explained breathlessly as he coated his fingers in lube, "It'll be kind of cold," he said as he touched drew one finger across the taller boy's hole. James gasped.

He pressed one finger into James and waited, watching as his finger was swallowed up. James had every muscle in his body tensed and Logan could feel his finger being squeezed. He imagined his cock inside of that muscle and promptly began to multiply numbers by two. He got himself back under control and sighed. He rubbed his clean hand down James's thigh.

"Relax," Logan said and drew his finger almost all the way out before pushing it back in. James clenched his hands tighter in the bedspread. He felt impossibly exposed with his friend's finger in him. He forced himself to relax even though his body wanted to expel the intruder.

Logan put more lube on his fingers and pushed in two. He played the game of withdrawing and pushing back in and twisting and scissoring until James had stopped reacting so badly. He pushed in a third finger.

"Ooh," James grunted. He felt his body try to adjust to the intrusion, "I don't get why people do this, it doesn't feel that great."

Logan smirked, that's what he'd been waiting for. He curled his fingers, searchingly, and when he found it James reacted immediately.

"Oh my lord!" James cried out as his body tensed as if electrocuted. He ground into the pillow helplessly. Logan waited for him to get back under control, entranced by the way James reacted, how his muscles fluttered and his hair threw back.

"That's why, it's called a prostate," Logan said and twisted his fingers. James jerked his hips forward. He moaned. Logan continued, "And there are a lot of nerve endings in here."

"Now, I'm going to put on a condom," Logan said and tore open his foil packet, fumblingly slipping the rubber on, "coat in lube," he squirted a generous amount on his hand and slathered up, "and enter you very slowly," Logan said and gently pressed the tip of his cock against James's lubed hole. He pushed firmly until his dick's head was inside of James.

The brunette gasped uncomfortably and tensed up. He worked on relaxing his muscles, but they refused. Logan squeezed his eye's shut, leaned forward and kissed James's back, his hands stroking his sides. Eventually, James nodded for Logan to continue.

As Logan inched forward, he grew concerned. James had his head buried in his arms and was shaking. Slowly, he backed out and took several deep breaths. James looked back at the sudden emptiness.

"Do you want to stop?" Logan panted. James got a deer-in-the-headlights look.

"You can't stop now," James whined, "I need you in me," At these words, James blinked and blushed. Logan looked down at his rock hard cock and back at James.

"Ok, but I need to see your face," Logan said, "Get on your back."

James rolled over, pushing the pillows out of the way. Logan lifted up his legs and placed them over his shoulders. He squeezed more lube into James's hole and massaged it in. James winced at the cold. Slowly, Logan re-entered, easier this time. The taller boy shut his eyes tight.

"Open your eyes," Logan gasped. James opened and looked into Logan's caring brown eyes.

"You have to give me feedback," Logan panted, sweat trickling down his temple, "I don't want to hurt you," James nodded. His muscles relaxed and his body grew accustomed as Logan remained perfectly still. He began to grow impatient.

"Logan, more," he growled. Logan raised an eyebrow. He pushed in the final two inches. James let out a strangled yelp, his eyes rolling back in his head and his hands fisting into the sheets. Logan's cock was squeezed impossibly so that he too gasped.

"James," he panted, "Are you ok?" He was worried about the reaction.

"Oh my god, oh my lord," James muttered, "Please Logan, more," Logan smirked and reached forward to grip the taller boy's hips.

"Hold on tight, babe," Logan said and drew out, quickly snapping his hips forward. James screamed and his legs slipped down to wrap around Logan's waist.

"Shit, you're so, ugh, tight," Logan grunted as he thrust into James's willing body. The taller boy threw back his hair, one hand going to jerk himself off.

James groaned and felt his orgasm coming onto him quickly.

"Logan," He moaned, "I'm gonna cum,"

Logan, who was close as well, gasped out, "Then cum for me," he said, pulling almost all the way out and thrusting back all the way in. James yelped and came onto his stomach before going completely limp . Logan thrust in several more times into the taller boy's body before emptying himself into the condom. He gasped, sitting back on his heels, and pulled his limp organ out of his friend. He tied off the condom and tossed it into the trash bin.

"Thanks," James gasped out, his chest still heaving. Logan looked over at him.

"No problem," Logan panted. He grabbed the moist washcloth from the bedside table and wiped the cum off of James's stomach. James leaned up shakingly and took the sweat pants that Logan offered. Logan pulled on his own and stashed the lube and box of condoms in the bedside table before pulling the blanket up and over both of them. He felt James curl up against his side and couldn't help his eyes from closing.

…

"Dude, why are they always sleeping in this room," Carlos muttered to himself and climbed into bed.

…

"No in band relationships?" James questioned, wincing as he prodded at his tender opening beneath the covers. Logan sighed and nodded.

"No in band relationships," Logan murmured and caressed James's head.

"Idiots," Carlos thought to himself and buried his head deeper in his pillow.

* * *

Just for future references, Carlos doesn't know what they did, he just knows that they were cuddling. Next chapter or two will be dark, pretty dark, with some hard drugs and stupidity. Heck, if you've read this far, you obviously don't mind that stuff.

Oh, poor lovesick puppies...


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, so this was going to be 2 chapters, but I couldn't find a good place to end without making one filler chapter and one dark chapter. So I went ahead and made one larger darker chapter, in honor of the delicious "City is Ours" song. Which is delicious, but the episode started out really depressing...

I only have two bad drug scenes implanted in my memory that I could reference for this chapter. One was the Pulp Fiction OD scene (luv that movie, can you tell?) and the other was a mix of some fanfic where some kid took acid and thought spiders were crawling out of his skin and the story of my great uncle taking acid, thinking a building was tilting, and proceeding to hold it up for three days. Because I love making the boys druggies :P

* * *

James sighed as he cruised the Palm Woods park. He was kind of sick of the treatment his friends were giving him, as though he would bust out sobbing or screaming any second. He just needed to get away from them before he exploded.

"Hey dude!" Guitar dude called out from his place on a blanket. Several other druggies surrounded him, all laying out with their pupils blown. James raised an eyebrow and went over to say hey.

"Hey, what's up?" James asked. Guitar dude smiled, and one of the other stoners, a short, tan boy with dreadlocks waved him over.

"Hey, you're James Diamond, right?" The boy asked. James crouched down beside the boy.

"Yeah, that's me," James said and flashed a patented smile. The dread head looked him up and down with red eyes.

"That bandana looks really chill, it brings out your face," the boy said, waving his hand to indicate James's entire face. James smiled happily.

"Great, because this face," James waved his fingers and made a model face, "needs all the attention it can get,"

"Dude, you're pretty as it is, you shouldn't be worried about what other people think about you," said the dread head.

"Miguel's cool man, and he's your flavor," Guitar dude drawled out and winked. James blinked. He hadn't known that this stoner was flirting with him.

"Um, sorry, I don't know if I should be spending a lot of time with people constantly under the influence," James said and stood up abruptly. He walked briskly away, but Miguel got one parting sentence in that caused James to think hard about his resolve.

"If you want your insecurities to melt away and for someone to appreciate you, just come on over" Miguel called. James wouldn't be tempted by the offer until later.

…

When Griffin had his make-up assistant come in, James wasn't prepared to be told how incompetent he was at taking care of his skin. The cat-like make-up lady flashed giant spotlights on his face and began to pick out his imperfections.

"What's this?" she asked accusingly, her fingers picking at the bandage that still covered the mark left by Travis. James flinched away.

"I got hit by my boyfr-oww!" James cried out as the bandage was ripped from his still sore cheek. The lady poked and prodded the bruised and cut skin.

"When appearance is everything, you can't afford time to heal. I can make you beautiful again in no time," the make-up lady scolded, slathering a painful scar-cream onto the cut, sealing it over with hot wax, and coating it in cover-up that was slightly tanner than his normal skin. She meticulously coated the entire surface of his face with it. She waxed his eyebrows, coated the top lash with liquid liner that managed to get in his eyes.

"Ow!" he cried out and jerked away. She grabbed his face quick as lightning and held his eye open. His eye stung and tried to shut, but she blew on it until the makeup dried and used a Q-tip to blot away any tears.

"Stop being such a baby," she snarled and continued to apply it, "Beauty requires pain,"

When she was finished, she allowed him to see. James thought he looked vaguely tanner, but his face looked no different save for the wax she had coated his mark with. It looked like some weird blister.

"Now, you need to apply this scar cream every day and make sure you put on concealer for that ugly bruise," the lady said, handing him the concealer and cream.

"But, it looks creepy," James protested. The lady pursed her lips.

"Look, my job is to make you look perfect. It's too bad that your little fling disfigured you, but that means you'll have to deal with pain and a little creepiness. No one wants to

see some bruised boy too afraid of make-up," the lady scolded and headed off with her waxing strips towards what sounded like a chained up wildcat, but from the dulcet tones of its voice was Kendall.

James looked at himself in the mirror and sneered.

…

"I'm ready to take you up on your offer," James murmured, "I'm tired of everyone pressuring me to be perfect all the time and telling me I'm not pretty enough,"

Miguel smiled benevolently and drew James closer, pressing a giant burning joint to his lips. James inhaled deeply and counted to five. The smoke trailed up into the trees.

…

"James, I don't think that Miguel is good for you," Kendall said to him, "he has a record on the streets as being a drug-pusher."

"I'm fine," James murmured, "It's nice to not have to worry about appearances"

"But, that's your thing," Kendall pointed out. James looked at him with hooded eyes.

"Well, that's kind of shallow, don't you think," James asked, "Besides, I'm only smoking pot. It's not like I'm doing anything else,"

"Dude, I'm just worried about you," Kendall sighed and leaned back in his chair, sighing. This wasn't going to end any way other than bad.

…

James growled and threw the joint to the ground. Miguel gasped and dove for it.

"Man, what did you do that for?" he asked. James looked over to his boyfriend's position on the ratty little couch, cradling the joint like a child.

"I'm getting sick of this, it's not helping me feel better anymore," James said, grabbing his head in his hands, "I just want this depression to leave me, I want to feel really good again."

Miguel smiled and leaned over to wrap an arm around James's shoulders.

"I'll give you one of my anti-depressants, it'll perk you right up for a few days and even help you look hot again," Miguel said, pulling a prescription bottle from his pocket.

James stared skeptically at the bottle for a second before letting Miguel press the pill onto his tongue. He didn't notice that the bottle had sharpie smiley face written on it.

…

_Brrrrrr. Brrrrrr. Brrrrrr. Brrrrrr. _

Miguel groaned and looked over at James, who was staring avidly at the cat clock on the wall.

"Dude, your phone's going off," Miguel drawled. James made no moves. His hand was furiously rubbing his scabbed cheek, which had almost finished healing but was now bleeding afresh. Miguel sighed and reached over to take the phone from James's pocket.

_6 missed calls_

_Brrrrrr._

Miguel flipped it open as it started to vibrate again.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Miguel, where the fuck is James, it's past midnight!" Kendall's angry voice growled, "If he's there, I'm gonna fucking kill him."

Miguel coughed guiltily, "Ummm, yeah, he's here, but I don't think he needs to be killed. It looks like he's having real bad trip, and I kinda gave him real strong acid-"

"JAMES TOOK ACID!" Logan screamed into the phone. He had apparently been listening in. At the noise from the phone, James yelped and threw himself under the coffee table.

Miguel winced.

"Um, he kinda didn't know, I told him it was an antidepressant cuz he was so bummer," Miguel said. Logan didn't respond.

"We're coming over," Kendall finally replied, his voice tight with anger, "and I expect that you will never talk to him ever again. If you survive Carlos,"

Miguel looked at the dead phone.

"Total buzz kill," he murmured and settled back against the couch, watching as James grew increasingly agitated.

…

Miguel opened the door and watched as Logan ran towards James. James flinched. Carlos and Kendall followed suit, tossing glares back at Miguel. They convinced James to come back to 2J, bundled him up, and half-carried, half-dragged him out. Miguel waved good-bye, but a solid punch in the face by Carlos brought his niceties to an end.

…

Logan helped James out of his coat and onto the taller boy's bed. Carlos left and came back with several towels, scarves, and belts. Logan stared at the items, then to Carlos for an answer.

"I had to deal with a badly tripped out friend once before," Carlos explained, "he got violent."

Logan nodded and sat down on James's bed. James's eyes stared, watching something in the corner that wasn't there.

"How long did it take?" Logan asked. Carlos sighed. "It can take a few hours, or it can take a few days," Carlos said, then headed back out, "I'm going to put a pot of coffee on"

Logan watched from the bed as Kendall's silhouette explained to Mama Knight's silhouette what happened and his once irresponsible friend put on coffee and discussed on the phone with old friends about the best way to take care of your drugged friends.

…

At 2 am, James came to life. He screamed and began to thrash back and forth violently. His nails came up and he began to claw at various parts of his body, his fingernails drew blood.

"The cat is pouring wax on me!" he screamed as Logan and Kendall fought his flailing arms while Carlos belted his legs together and wove a belt through two of the belt loops, pinning James's hands to his sides with the belt, then wrapping a belt across his chest and biceps. He stuffed towels under the belts to minimize welting.

"If she doesn't pour the wax, they'll lay eggs in it, DON'T LET THEM LAY EGGS IN IT!" James sobbed and tried to thrash his way off the bed. Carlos lay his body over James's torso to pin him to the bed. Soon, the thrashing died down and Logan just stroked the tormented boy's soft hair as he muttered to himself while the others left to catch some sleep before they took their shift on James' watch.

"If they hatch, they'll eat me. The cat lady will pour wax. She'll kill them, protect my beauty. Don't let them lay eggs. Please, save me," James pleaded. Logan leaned down and kissed the feverish forehead.

"If you would only let me," Logan sighed and sipped his coffee.

…

James groaned. His head hurt like a bitch and his mouth tasted like cotton. He tried to reach up and rub it, but he couldn't move his arms. He opened his eyes blearily.

"Good morning sunshine," said a voice from behind him. "Logan?" James asked. His eyes focused and he saw that his entire body was bound with a straight jacket of belts and towels. He was drenched with sweat.

"What happened?" James asked, looking around to find that his head was resting in the lap of his best friend, who had dark circles under his eyes and was sipping on a coffee cup. Logan sighed and stroked a hand across the top of James's head.

"Your boyfriend gave you really strong acid," Logan murmured. James's eyes widened dramatically, "He told you they were antidepressants and you believed him, you stupid little prick."

"But…I didn't mean," James started as tears began to prick up. Logan shushed him, wiping the sparkles away before they could fall.

"I'm too tired to be mad at you," Logan whispered and continued, "You tripped out really badly and we had to restrain you to prevent you from hurting yourself."

"But, I don't remember anything," James said. Logan shushed him again.

"You've been out of it for three days," Logan said, "It's Tuesday," James tried frantically to sit up. "But Gustavo! And Mama Knight!" James cried out. Logan grabbed him by the temples.

"James, stop," Logan said. The dead exhaustion in his voice was what made James stop, "We told Mama Knight when we first brought you in. She called Gustavo, he's pissed but not surprised, especially after hearing who gave you the acid. Kendall and Carlos are sleeping right now, we've been watching you in periods. You had a rough patch several hours ago and we all had to hold you down because you were determined to bang your head against the wall to get rid of the implants," Logan murmured, still stroking James's hair.

Tears welled up in James's eyes and he couldn't fight them back. He had disappointed all the people who cared about him and made them worry and fight him. He scrunched his eyes shut and began to gasp in sobs.

"I'm…so…sorry," he sobbed out and tried to turn and bury his face into Logan's thigh, but soft hands held his face straight, "Now their gonna send me back to Minnesota and I'm gonna have to work in a fast food restaurant. Which would be horrible for my complexion!"

"Shhhh," Logan whispered, peering into James's eyes, "Shhhhh, easy there drama queen, things will go back to normal. Everyone makes mistakes. Just know that if that ever happens again, Carlos will have you chained to him at all times. Kinky? Yes. In a concert? No,"

James chuckled a little at that, but the comment only served to make him feel more guilty. Logan's filters only came that unhinged when he was exhausted to the point of passing out standing up.

Logan reached forward and unbuckled the belts. James sat up and rubbed the places on his arms where the belts had bit into him. Then he turned around and pulled Logan into his chest, hugging him in silent thanks. The small, lithe boy melted into his arms.

Logan sighed, his tired body encapsulated in the warmth that was James, and finally let himself fall asleep knowing that his best bud was safe.

James lowered Logan gently down to the bed and snuggled up to him for more sleep.

…

"At least they're in your room this time," Carlos said to Kendall as the two watched their friends sleeping together in James's bed. Kendall raised an eyebrow.

"You know, I'd prefer James and Logan sharing a bed to James finding another boyfriend," Kendall said, nursing his coffee, "James so far has had terrible luck. I just hope he realizes that relationships don't hurt bands before Logan kills him."

"Or I kill him," Carlos said and went to sleep in his bed, "and if they share a bed, then you can have them both. James likes to talk in his sleep and I'm the only one who wakes up for it."

Kendall sighed and placed his coffee cup on the counter. Logan's bed smelled funny, but he'd been sleeping in it more than Logan these past few days and he was getting used to it.

* * *

Next chapter is much much lighter, and don't fret, the James/Logan pairing will develop more shortly.


	6. Chapter 6

So, this is a small chapter because the next chapter is going to be long due to the amount of plot in it. It's just a bit of transitioning humor and fluff. Reviewers, you honor me, and make me feel warm and tingly inside. Thank you so much for your compliments and words of encouragement because it's what fuels the creative flames.

* * *

"AHHHHHH!" James screamed as Gustavo chased him around the office. Logan, Kendall, Carlos, Kelly, and Freight Train watched from their position seated on the couch.

"I told you not to do hard drugs!" Gustavo screamed as he bolted after the taller, leaner boy. James leaped out of Gustavo's reach.

"So, why aren't you helping?" Kendall asked Kelly and Freight Train.

"Because James sings and dances great and I don't need him dead," Kelly explained.

"And it's funny," Freight Train chuckled. Kendall nodded and gave Freight Train that much.

"I didn't mean too!" James screamed, leaping over Gustavo's desk and using it to keep Gustavo as far from him as possible.

"I don't care!" Gustavo cried and dove over the desk, taking down all of its contents. James rolled under the desk and ran out the door with Gustavo on his tail.

"You know, there is an 88.67% chance that James will suffer serious injury if caught," Logan winced at the sound of crashing coming from the lobby.

"If he's caught," Carlos pointed out.

"And he's been whining about that mark on his face for two weeks," Kendall said, "He won't let anything else mess him up,"

"Yeah, you guys are probably right," Logan said just as James reentered and dove onto the couch directly behind Logan and Kendall.

"Shield me with your bodies!" James squealed and wrapped his arms around Logan and Kendall's torsos, pressing them into a shield, and drawing gasps of pain and lack of air from both.

Gustavo stumbled into the room and fell onto his chair, exhausted.

"Fine, you don't die today, but you do need to spend 2 extra hours practicing the choreography every day this week. With X," the man pronounced. James sighed and nodded.

…

"James?" Logan called into the empty apartment, "Carlos told me to find you."

At that moment, Logan chose to look up at the top of the swirly slide. There stood a man dressed in all black and covered from head to toe in bandanas. The man stared at Logan. Logan stared back. Then, the bandana covered man screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" cried he. Logan, upon being screamed at by a bandana-ed man standing on top of his swirly slide, replied likewise. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Logan screamed. The bandana-ed man leaped off the swirly slide and flew towards Logan, scooping him up around the waist and taking him flying around the room.

"Oh my God, what the hell is going on!" Logan cried as they flew around the room. He craned his neck and finally got a look at his attacker, "James?" James cackled. "I am not James, I am bandana man!" James cried as he circled the room again. Logan looked up and saw a pair of wires coming from James's back.

"Dude, when did you get wires in the apartment?" Logan asked.

"Camille put them in a while ago, and she finally taught me how to use them," James explained and circled the room again. Logan looked down and gulped.

"We're really high up," he said, "Do not drop me!"

"James! It's my turn now!" Carlos called from his place on the ground. His helmet was strapped on tightly.

"I am not James, I am Bandana Man!" James cried and continued to bounce around the room with both arms wrapped securely around Logan. Carlos glared and leapt up, grabbing onto James's legs. The grabbed party yelped and began to scream. "Carlos! Not cool man, this wire could break! Let go and wait your turn!" James squealed, kicking his legs in outrage. Logan, in the meantime, was feeling pretty uncomfortable with the fact that the only thing keeping him from plummeting to his death were the (muscular, tanned, toned) arms around his chest.

Carlos waited until the three boys bounced off the wall and towards the couch before dropping onto the floor. James and Logan stopped.

"I think he's out cold," Logan murmured. James nodded and shrugged.

"Serves him right, these cables have a 370lb weight limit," James said. Logan blanched.

"Um, aren't we a little heavy for that?" Logan asked. Dangling was getting kind of relaxing, if not for the pressure on his chest. When his arms began to shake, James wrapped his legs around Logan's hips and took some of the weight off his arms.

"Nah, of course not," James reassured, suddenly worried looking. Logan sighed and began to swing back and forth. Finally, the wire began to move towards the couch. James dropped the smaller boy on the couch before pressing the emergency release button.

"Ahhhh!" James yelped as he fell straight on top of Logan.

"Ouchies," Logan yelped and moved his arm so it no longer bent absurdly. James remained slumped on top of him, heavy and warm.

"Why aren't you moving?" Logan asked. James sighed.

"Because I can't move my arms," he replied. Logan sighed, waited 30 more seconds, and maneuvered around underneath James's warm bulk until he managed to sit up, the brunette's head cradled in his lap sans bandana, and turned on Discovery Channel. James yawned.

"Where did Ms Knight go this time?" James asked through his yawn. Logan looked down from the shark leaping out of the water at James.

"It's her dad's birthday, so she and Katie are spending the week back in Minnesota. Kendall is still here because he has to work," Logan explained, "I guess she needs a lot of break from being a mom to four teenage boys and an evil genius child in L.A."

"Why didn't I here about this," James asked, turning his head in Logan's lap to watch the television.

"Because you were snoozing in your oatmeal," Logan said and resumed observation of Shark Week. A couple minutes later, he looked down to see that James had fallen asleep. He sighed and turned down the volume, and didn't realize his hand was stroking James's silky soft hair.

* * *

The next chapter is going to be longish, which is why this one is so short.


	7. Chapter 7

Ok, this one starts funny, but it gets pretty dark. Thank you, thank you reviewers. You give me the warm and fuzzies and confidences.

* * *

"Wuz goin on?" James asked groggily. Carlos and Kendall were clinking things together, and his pillow was shifting around and making crinkling noises.

"Have a pleasant nap?" Logan asked from above him. James blinked and looked up to see Logan rolling a blunt. He looked over to the table and noticed a six pack of beer and a bottle of vodka and a bottle of tequila.

"Where do you guys find this stuff?" James groaned, lurching upward and rubbing his eyes. The once blue sky was now black. He sat back on the couch with his legs crossed.

Kendall motioned to the beer and vodka, Carlos motioned to the tequila, and Logan nodded towards the dime bag of pot.

"We got people," they said and James shook his head. He sat up and accepted the beer bottle given to him by Kendall.

"What are we playing?" James asked.

"I Never," Kendall responded with a raised eyebrow, "We haven't had fun in a while, I think we'll move on to something else after we finish the beers,"

James nodded and watched as Logan lit up and took a drag. He passed it to Kendall, who looked at it hesitantly before taking a drag. When the blonde began to cough, Logan held out a pillow.

"Cough into this," Logan said. James furrowed his eye brow. Kendall coughed into the pillow and took another drag, more successful this time. Carlos took a hit easily and let it ghost out. Kendall took it back.

"I'll start," Kendall smirked, taking a hit, "I never smoked pot before tonight," he stared at Carlos smirkingly. All three others took drinks.

"You've smoked?" Logan asked.

"Well, so've you!" Carlos shot back, taking the joint from Kendall and taking a hit, "I've never drank so much I've passed out." Kendall took a drink. James raised his eyes quizzically. Kendall shrugged.

"My cousin and I drank a lot of vodka on his birthday," he supplied. Logan took the joint next and took a deep hit, holding it in and letting it out only after a few contemplative seconds.

"I've never…had to go to the hospital because I did something stupid," Logan said. Carlos and James drank. James took the joint and took a hit.

"I've never had a dog," James said and watched all three take drinks.

"I've never had a cat" Kendall said. All three drank.

"I've never named an animal after a star," Carlos supplied. James drank.

"I've never cried when my animals died," Logan said. Carlos and James drank.

"I'm getting away from the animals," James said throatily, "I've never eaten food from a garbage can"

"Hey that was a perfectly good sandwich!" Carlos yelled before taking a drink.

"Well, I've never broken a bone," Kendall said. Carlos and James drank.

"I've never rode a horse," Carlos said.

"I thought we were getting away from animals," Logan sighed exasperatedly as he took a drink, "I've never screamed at a spider,"

"So now it's bugs?" James asked as he and the rest of the guys took drinks, "Well, I've never screamed at a snake,"

Logan shook his head and took a swig.

"This is getting boring," Kendall said, staring at his bottle, "I've never kissed a boy,"

James took a drink. Logan sighed and haltingly brought the bottle to his lips.

"Who?" Kendall asked.

"Couple people," Logan said.

"Are you gay too?" Kendall continued to ask. Logan sighed.

"No, I just don't care about gender constraints,"

"Ok then," Kendall said and passed the joint to Carlos.

"I've never danced on a table," Carlos said, causing James and Kendall to drink with a smirk on their faces.

"I've never danced until dawn" Logan stated. James and Carlos drank. James was starting to look tipsy, having moved on to his second bottle of beer.

"I've never knocked someone over while dancing," James stated. Logan and Carlos drank.

"Boooooring," Kendall drawled with a lazy smile, "I've never made out in public." Carlos and James drank.

"Um, I can't think of one," Carlos said panicky.

"Think of something, quick!" Kendall urged after a minute, "C'mon, it's not that hard to figure out something that you haven't do-"

"Okay! Sheesh, I've never had sex with Logan!" Carlos threw out, not expecting James to stare at the beer bottle and slowly bring it to his lips. Logan's eyes widened at the question and he involuntarily glanced toward James before the boy had brought the bottle to his lips. Kendall stared incredulously at James, Carlos's mouth dropped open and he dropped the joint on his lap.

"Are you serious," Kendall asked seriously, "You and Logan had sex?"

"It was only as friends," James supplied, "I wanted to know how to…do it"

"So you and Logan tried it?" Kendall squeaked, "And afterward just ignored it ever happened?"

"It didn't mean anything," James said and looked down. Kendall looked over and saw Logan's eyes droop. His jaw tightened. Obviously his thick best bud didn't get how Logan felt about him, and how much he just hurt the boy.

"I know that it meant something, because sex always means something when it's between two people so close," Kendall said, raising his voice and standing up, "I'm not blind, I've seen how you two act around each other. Sleeping in the same room, wrapped around each other, looking at each other longingly. If that doesn't mean something, then I don't know anything that does," James stood up, glaring, but Kendall continued, "Look, we don't care if you have a relationsh-"

"Relationships ruin bands!" James shouted, throwing his hands in the air, "It doesn't matter how much I love Logan, if I do something stupid and we break up, then the band will be finished. My dream will be finished, and I can't do that to you, or Carlos, or Logan!" James growled and stormed around the coffee table, past where Carlos sat in shock with a hole burning in his pants without realizing it. Kendall followed him.

"Dude, are you hearing yourself? You and Logan are friends, even if something were to happen, the band wouldn't break up. This is about your sanity, Logan's sanity, and living your life to make you happy," Kendall growled.

"I can make my own decisions about making me happy," James snarled as he pulled on a light coat and slipped his wallet into his pocket.

"Obviously you can't!" Kendall yelled, "Seeing as how the past two boyfriends you've had have either tried to rape you or gave you acid that made you trip out violently for three days! Why not try someone who will actually care for you?"

"I can't, I just can't" James spat and headed toward the front door.

"Where are you going?" Kendall asked, trying to block his exit, but James ducked around him.

"Out, I need to think about it, and just because Logan fucked me doesn't mean he has deep feelings for me," James snarled.

"But I do have feelings for you," Logan said, breaking his silence. James looked over at Logan, sitting innocently on the couch, and Kendall could see in the moment that the taller boy's eyes were glistening. James looked down, scrunched his face up, and shook his head.

"I can't, I can't," he panted, "I can't do that to you," and he ran out the door. Silence filled the room.

"Owwww!" Carlos cried out as the heat of the joint finally got through his jeans. He plucked the joint off his thigh and batted the heat out of his leg. Kendall pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned heavily against the door.

"That wasn't smart of me," he sighed and headed over to sit next to Logan.

"We should go after him," Carlos said. Logan shook his head.

"No, we're too drunk and high to find a James that doesn't want to be found," Logan sighed heavily and rubbed his face, "That boy has major insecurity issues,"

"Do you blame him?" Kendall asked, "He grew up in a place where pretty means queer and queer means public enemy. His parents have been part of that strict religious church for ages. We just happened to be three people who don't care about appearances. And it doesn't help that he was told he had no talent by a mega producer, and that mega producer continues to dislike him for some arbitrary reason,"

"Hmm, got a point," Carlos said. Logan sighed and rested his forehead.

"Which means that right now, he's finding some way to be self-destructive again," Logan growled, "I'm gonna go take a shower and think where he might be."

…

James handed the bouncer his fake ID while trying to catch his breath. The bouncer looked him up and down and nodded. He nodded back and disappeared into the club.

James sighed and let the beat of the music flow into him. Bright flashing lights and glitter fell from the ceiling, men dancing all around him.

He caught the eye of one rather handsome man and smiled prettily. The man came over to him.

"Want a ride?" the man asked.

"Only if you can make me hurt," James said coyly, flirtatiously. The man nodded and pushed him toward the back alley.

…

Sobered by the shower, Logan stared at the small flyer rubber banded to the James's glitter spray.

_Looking for a Hot time? Drop by the Milk Bar for all of your dancing, drinking, dirty needs. The hottest gay club in L.A.!_

The place was about a block away from the Palm Woods.

"I know where James is!" Logan yelled and ran into the main room, clutching the flyer.

…

"You have a condom, right?" James said as the man pushed him face first against the wall.

"Of course, I'm not stupid," the man said and pulled out the packet, "It's pre-lubed, but I can use more if you want,"

"No, I want to feel it," James said and dropped his pants to his ankles, bracing his hands against the wall while the man slipped the rubber on.

"You're one kinky kid," the man said as he positioned himself and thrust in. James cried out before biting his lip and letting the man roughly fuck him.

…

Logan tore down the street with the other two guys following closely behind. He ended up in front of the club.

"How are we gonna get in?" Carlos asked. Logan noticed a dark alley way and paused.

"Hold on, I have a hunch," Logan said, heading towards the sound of flesh on flesh and groans.

…

"Harder," James grunted, his head ducked against the wall and eyes closed tightly.

"Ok, Jesus kid, you're really tight," the man grunted and slammed into James's ass.

"James!" a voice yelled. James whipped his head around to see three friends pointing a flashlight at him.

…

Carlos flashed his light in the alley and froze. James was braced against the wall, his pants around his ankles, with a man harshly burying himself balls deep in his ass. His face went from scrunching up, to wide eyed as the light flashed on him. The thing that sickened Carlos the most was the tears streaming heavily down his face.

…

"I'm kind of busy, guys," James grunted.

"James, you have to stop this self-destruction," Logan said and stepped forward.

"What, is this your boyfriend?" The man asked, remaining still within James.

"No," James rasped. The man peered at James's face and blanched at the tears.

It seemed obvious to Logan that the man hadn't noticed that James was crying, or what he was trying to do. He seemed genuinely concerned about this random trick's well-being.

"I knew something was up," the man said and pulled out, dropping the condom like a ghost onto the ground and zipping himself up, "You shouldn't have let me hurt you,"

"I needed it to hurt" James murmured, pulling up his pants and burying his face into his arms against the wall, "I don't deserve to feel anything better." Logan approached slowly, placing his hand gently around his friend's shoulder while he shuddered into the wall.

"James, you deserve to feel good. You deserve to feel loved. Stop trying to replace what we did with pain, I love you way too much for that" Logan said into James's ear. The taller boy turned, tears streaming down his cheeks, and looked at Logan. Logan reached up and gently stroked the hair out of his eyes. That small gesture broke down James's guards. He lurched forward and into Logan's arms. Logan sank slowly to the ground, stroking the sobbing boy's hair softly. Kendall and Carlos came closer and began put their hands comfortingly on James's shoulders.

"We all care so much about you, dude, it hurts watching you self-destruct," Carlos told him.

"Yeah, put what others say behind you, you're going to be rich and famous one day," Kendall reassured. James sobs began to quiet and he relaxed a little in Logan's arms.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking up. Logan pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Don't be," Logan murmured. The man stood back, watching the whole proceeding.

"How old is he?" he asked, "You're supposed to be 21 to get in this club, but the bouncer doesn't watch out for fakeys too much,"

"He's sixteen," Carlos said to the man. He sighed and leaned against a wall.

"I know a lot of self-destructing gays, a lot of them started when they were young like him," the man explained, "Usually, gay kids in small towns keep quiet about their sexuality, but they hear enough crap about it that they begin to think of themselves as unworthy. They come out, get kicked out, and move to a town with others like them. Then they go around, clubbing all the time, drinking, doing heavy drugs, having risqué sex, because they don't see a reason to live their lives to the fullest. I should've seen it with this kid," he sighed.

"Why do you care?" James asked. The man looked down at the tear-stained boy in the arms of his friends.

"I've got two sons who are about two years old. I just think about what would happen if they grew up with a life like mine, in secrecy, or worse like other gays, in self-destruct. I hope I can prevent you from doing the same," The man explained then turned to Logan, "If you give me your cell phone number, I'll give you a call if I see him self-destructing in this club again and talk to him."

"What's your name," Kendall asked. The man smiled.

"Call me Ricky," he said and walked back into the club. James sniffed and began to stand up. Carlos and Kendall grabbed him under the shoulders and lifted him up. James looked to Logan. "I'm sorry," he said. Logan smirked and reached up to wipe the streaks off of his face.

"Don't be, while I may not enjoy you doing this to yourself, I'm glad I can pick up the pieces," Logan smiled, then growled "but don't get it into your pretty head to do this again!"

"Yeasir," James said quickly and offered up his signature smile. Logan smirked and threw an arm over his shoulder, and the group started back to the apartment.

* * *

*Cough* Ricky will appear later again as well as some more in-depth explanation about the Milk Bar. I borrowed the name from Clockwork Orange.


	8. Chapter 8

So, I decided not to end the story where it should have ended and have gone on to extend the plot to incorporate some of the aspects of gay relationships, like clubbing and telling parents and so on and so forth. I've had a burst of inspiration for this fic and want to see it through to its end. Also, I want to write more steamy Jagan scenes like the one in this chapter.

* * *

"Ok, enough with 'I Never', I don't particularly want to learn anything else tonight," Kendall said as he took his place on the couch next to James, who was shifting around uncomfortably. Logan sat on the other side of James, and Carlos sat on the floor. Logan flipped the television on and flipped through the channels.

"Pulp Fiction's starting, wanna drink every time that someone swears?" Logan asked. The other three agreed and took their beers.

After the first fifteen minutes, they moved on to the vodka and took shots from the souvenir shot glasses that Ms Knight collected. By the time that they had gotten most of the way through the bottle, they were sloshed.

"Duuuude, I uh don't think that we'll get to the tequila tonight," Kendall slurred, pronouncing tequila with the "qu" sound Americanized. Carlos cackled.

"You are such a Minnesota" Carlos said and tossed back a shot when the movie swore. They filled up the glasses again.

"Oh shit," Kendall said, and stumbled to the bathroom. Carlos got up.

"I'll follow him to make sure he doesn't drown in it," Carlos said and stumbled after the blonde. Retching noises and splashing liquids were heard. James sagged more and more against Logan, his hand stroking under his shirt, reaching lower to fondle Logan through his jeans.

Logan groaned at the heat pooling in his groin. His mind told him to stop intoxicated James before Logan hurt him, but his hormones told him that his mind was a pussy.

James retracted his hand as Carlos tumbled out of the bathroom with Kendall draped over his shoulder.

"I'm putting him in your bed, Logan," Carlos said, "You know how to work the washing machine." With that, Carlos stumbled into the room, pushed Kendall onto Logan's bed, and fell into his own.

James resumed his touching. He reached down and unzipped Logan's pants, drawing out his erection and leaned down. Logan blinked for a second before James lapped at the head of his cock. He threw back his head and moaned as the brunette sucked his cock into his mouth. Logan groaned when his keen logic finally kicked in. He pushed James off.

"Stop," he said and moved to tuck himself back in. James looked up at him with hooded eyes and moist lips. A spot of Logan's pre-cum stuck to James's lip, so Logan reached up to wipe it off. James leaned forward and began to suck on Logan's neck.

"You," James panted out, "Should fuck me. It'll feel awesome with this buzz," Logan shook his head.

"I won't be able to prepare you, I'll hurt you," Logan protested. James rubbed his hand against Logan's pants.

"I'll be fine, I'm already stretched from Ricky and I'll just suck you so you're nice and wet," James moaned and sighed, "Please, I need you to fuck me." Logan stared at him incredulously and grabbed the reaching hand.

"No," Logan said exasperatedly, "I'm not going to hurt you. Ever. I'm not going to satisfy these masochistic tendencies of yours. I care too much. We'll wait until we're sober before we fuck again," Logan said and rubbed James's head. James paused his reaction and turned sallow. Logan's eyes widened and he leaped up.

"Oh shit," Logan said, swaying a little, and dragged a limp James to his feet, pushing him to the bathroom. He fell to his knees in front of the toilet and began retching. Logan shuddered and pulled back the long bangs to ensure that they didn't get splashed.

When James finished emptying his stomach, he flushed the toilet and lurched up to the sink to rinse his mouth out and drink some of the water. He stood back up and lurched over to the couch. Logan followed. James pulled Logan to him and lay down along the couch. Logan sighed and let the drowsiness kick in. He had skipped a lot of shots because he didn't want to get too drunk, but he still had the slight intoxication. He snuggled back against James's chest and fell asleep.

…

"Owwwwww," James moaned, rubbing his head. Logan looked behind him to see the brunette had all intentions of reveling in his misery like all other hung-over people and took mercy on him, as well as to Kendall and Carlos in the next room. He stood up and headed to the kitchen for a bottle of ibuprofen and four bottles of water. He popped a couple himself to ward off the dull throb in the back of his mind and headed into the bedroom. Kendall lay on his bed upside down, feet on the pillow and head at the foot, moaning in agony.

"Here," Logan said, giving him a few pills and a bottle of water. Kendall grunted and gulped down the pills and water. Logan noticed the giant drool stain at the foot of his bed and grimaced. He looked towards Carlos, snoring with his mouth open, and considered trying the old "put in mouth and rub throat" trick but thought better of it and left pills and water at the nightstand. He went to James last.

The brunette lay on his stomach draped over the couch, looking at Logan like a kicked puppy. Logan sighed and helped him lean up, handing him the pills and water in turn. James swallowed and curled up in the small dent on the couch, hugging a pillow to his stomach.

Logan sighed, "I'm so glad I'm a morning person."

…

Logan alternated between drinking coffee and water while he stirred oatmeal in a large pot. Carlos came back to life first, trudging out of the bed with his helmet on lopsided and one shoe on.

"I reek," he grumbled and stumbled into the bathroom. Logan smirked.

"Clothes?" he asked. Carlos paused.

"Shit," he grumbled and went back to his room, grabbed clothing, smelled them for cleanliness, and deemed them appropriate. He trudged back to the bathroom and closed the door gently. Its hinges were loose.

Logan listened as the water turned on and Carlos began singing his scales and arpeggios. Actually, the song "Scales and Arpeggios" from The Aristocats, of which Carlos had a pretty good rendition. James groaned from the couch.

"Why does everyone in this band love cats?" he grumbled and rolled over, burying his head in the pillow.

"Because cats are cute and fluffy and soft," Logan answered matter-of-factly, "and you love a kitten as much as the next guy"

"True that,"

"Double true," Kendall grumbled as he trudged out of the room and poured a cup of coffee, sitting heavily at the table. Carlos popped out of the bathroom, bright eyed and bushy tailed and sat down at the table. Logan began ladling oatmeal into bowls.

"James, get up!" Logan yelled. The brunette groaned and emerged from his nest on the couch. He trudged to the table and sat down heavily. He yelped and stood back up. Logan raised an eyebrow and dropped a bowl of oatmeal in front of him as he gingerly sat back down.

"Rough night?" Logan asked sarcastically, flattening the hair that stuck up on top of James's head. James stuck out his tongue and began eating his oatmeal.

"Gustavo said we gotta be in by noon," Logan said and motioned to the clock that read 9:30.

"I'm gonna go sit by the pool for a while," Carlos said and headed out the door.

"I'm sleeping for another hour," Kendall proclaimed and went to his room, "You guys can shower and I'll go at 11:00."

James and Logan made eye contact. Logan raised his eyebrows questioningly. James nodded towards the bathroom, twitched his eyebrows seductively, and flashed a smile.

"Got it," Logan said and went to his room for clothing. James retrieved his own clothing and noticed that Kendall had already passed out. He closed the door quietly and slipped into the bathroom, closing and locking the door. Logan was warming up the shower. James smirked and began stripping. Logan looked back and took in James's body appreciatively. The taller boy slid past and got into the shower, sighing as the hot water washed the sweat from the night before down the drain. A few seconds late, Logan entered behind him. James turned around and backed up, allowing Logan to get wet.

The brunette leaned forward and captured Logan's lips with his. The shorter boy moaned and wrapped his arms around his companion's waist, running hands from James's lower back to his ass to his upper thighs and back up again. Their erections rubbed up against each other in the hot water, and James ran his hand down Logan's chest to rub against the hard flesh between them.

"We have to get clean," Logan whispered and James let his hand drop to the shampoo. The two washed themselves and each other thoroughly, but when James decided he couldn't wait anymore and dropped to his knees, engulfing Logan's cock into the tight heat of his mouth.

"Ugh!" Logan groaned louder than he would have liked and bit his lip, humming his pleasure out, tousling James's wet hair. Eye-lids fluttering, Logan managed to keep silent until James tried deep-throating him, accidentally scraped him with his teeth, and squeezed his balls tightly with one hand. Logan's eyes popped open wide.

"Oh god," he yelped quietly and came. James stood up with his mouth full. He stared at Logan through hooded eyes with one thin trickle of white cum from the corner of his mouth and swallowed. Logan leaned up and captured his mouth, teasing the taller boy's lips with his tongue.

"You should be quieter," James murmured huskily, "Kendall could hear."

"How can I help," Logan smiled and let his hand fall down to stroke James's length, drawing a gasp out of the taller boy, "When you have such a talented mouth."

James leaned forward, bracing on Logan more and more as Logan skillfully stroked him. One hand traveled up and pinched James's pink nipple, tugged on the tender nub gently. James gasped in as if he were drowning and squeezed Logan's shoulder tightly. The hand fell down to reach around back and tease gently at his swollen hole. This drew a whimper of pleasure from the taller boy and he came with a yelp into Logan's hand.

…

Kendall looked up drowsily at the yelp, identifying it from the times James had jerked off when he thought Kendall was asleep. He wondered why he would do it when Logan was in…

"Seriously?" Kendall groaned exasperatedly, then realized the shower was running and groaned again, "In the shower? Why can't I have normal friends?"

He buried his head in his pillow and resigned himself another fifteen minutes

…

Logan supported the majority of James's weight as the boy panted and came back, his eyes blown with pleasure. Slowly, he stood back upright and smiled, leaning forward and nipped the tip of Logan's nose. Logan growled, causing James to fake a frightened yelp and dash out of the shower, running a towel briskly over himself and throwing on his clothes before dashing out the bathroom door. Logan shuddered as a cold wave of air hit his naked body and quickly threw on clothes to chase after the taller boy.

James near the couch, crouched in a position to dart. Logan feinted left, feinted right, then leapt deftly over the table, tackling the taller boy into the couch and wrestling with him, drawing yelps out as he poked him in the sides. The match was brought to a short end when James cried out in pain.

"Ow! Ok, time out," James yelped, and Logan halted and grabbed the taller boy's shoulder.

"What's the matter?" Logan asked in concern. James's hand made it around to clasp at the back of his pants.

"It's, um," James said, a blush highlighting his cheek bones, "It's kind of sore back there." Logan nodded sympathetically and looked at the clock.

"We have about fifteen minutes to get ready before Kendall grabs the bathroom," Logan said and stood up, offering James a hand. When James accepted the help up, Logan pulled him close, "And you're not allowed to say 'no in-band relationships' because this is one." James smiled sheepishly and nodded. Logan smiled and pressed a chaste kiss to the taller boy's lips.

* * *

So, thank you again to my wonderful reviewers, I love reading your comments and I always feel like writing more after them.


	9. Chapter 9

So, I decided to show more a fluffier Logan side this chapter, and it's not as well put together as some of my other chapters. I've been out of town, so I'm trying to get back into the writing groove. Also, please bear with the poorly written scene that happens in here. Thank you, my reviewers, for making me feel guilty about not writing more.

* * *

"I'm so glad that Gustavo doesn't make us stay late anymore now that we have most of the album recorded," Carlos sighed as the boys exited the studio.

"Don't get so excited, once the album's out, we'll be practicing singing and dancing to get ready for tour," Logan grumbled. The whole band groaned in anticipation. James turned to Logan. "Wanna go to the club?" he asked, "it's pretty awesome."

"But, I'm not old enough," Logan said. James looked him up and down and smiled.

"I have a fake I.D. that looks like you if you want to use it," James said and raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"You have a fake I.D of me?" Logan asked incredulously. James took out his wallet and flashed the piece of plastic. Logan grabbed it and stared at it.

"Dude, people are going to know this isn't me!" he exclaimed.

"The door man at the club only cares if you're pretty, and if you aren't pretty enough, I have some extra you can borrow," James said and went to his room to get ready.

"What am I supposed to wear?" Logan yelled after him. James stuck his head out around the corner and looked him up and down.

"Hmmmm, give me a sec," James said and disappeared. Logan sighed and waited as James arranged his own outfit. The boy popped out wearing a tank and a vest, making Logan feel stupid for not guessing proper clubbing attire.

"Oh, I could've figured that out," Logan said. James raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

"No you couldn't've," he said, "These are designer clothing, and while you might not be able to tell the difference, the bouncer will. And he's picky about who he lets into this club. If we wear designer clothes, then he won't make us pay the thousand dollar entrance fee. That's how this club works," James said and tugged Logan into his room.

"But I don't have any designer clothes," the shorter boy whined.

"Yes you do, you just don't ever wear them," James said and pulled out the baggy black and red pants that the make-up designers had given him and a red tank, dumping them in Logan's arms.

"But, these are normal clothes," Logan said.

"Actually, they're worth more than the lease on this apartment," James said happily, "Griffin gave the designers a check after our party that probably could've bought my apartment back in Minnesota."

Logan sighed and got dressed while James disappeared into the bathroom. He came back out looking sparkly.

"Glitter? Seriously?" Logan asked. James glared.

"Glitter is cool," James growled and grabbed his wallet. Logan pocketed his own wallet and a small joint, he knew that clubs didn't care and he needed to relax. James grabbed his arm and dragged him out the door.

…

James linked their arms together and marched them down the street to the club and winked at the bouncer. The man looked towards them, back at the large line of people, at their clothes, at James's body, and smirked.

"You can go right in, cupcake," he growled, then looked at Logan, "And your boyfriend can too, since he's got taste,"

James dragged Logan inside the club and onto the dance floor. Logan began to get the beat going and loosen up as James danced energetically beside him. James smirked as Logan began to dance and reached forward to grab his hips, pulling the smaller boy closer.

Logan turned around in James's grip and began grinding back against him. Music flowed through the boys, syncing their movements and allowing their frustrations and stresses to live free. Then the music stopped and the DJ announced the next song. It was one of Mr X's warm-up songs and the boys had learned the dance moves by heart over the past several months. James leaned down.

"Wanna show these people how to dance?" he asked. Logan smiled, wondering what his friend could possibly mean, which James took as an agreement. He latched onto Logan's hand and dragged him to one of the several mini-stages that littered the large dance floor. Logan protested as James pulled him toward the stage and several hands helped push him on top. They stood up, side by side as the intro beat began. They tapped their left feet to the beat and fluidly shifted into their first move.

30 seconds into their dance, Logan was grinning ecstatically as he and James transitioned into the Stanky Leg, which under the training of Mr X had transformed from a jokingly shaky leg jerk to a move that swung at the hip and got down low for monster sex appeal. X told them it helped loosen their hips for further dancing, and he had added it to Beyonce's single ladies choreography. By this time, most of the people in the club had turned to watch the two attractive boys dancing in sync to the music. The Stanky Leg was what had them stop dancing and watch in awe (or was that lust?). When they pulled a perfectly timed back-flip, whoops went around the club. As the song ended, the two bowed.

Just as they gave each other a hug, a familiar face clambered angrily on stage and landed a solid punch to Logan's stomach, knocking him off the stage. Several men who had been congratulating them heartily caught him before he could injure himself and helped him remain upright as he coughed and gasped in air.

"Travis," James said accusingly. The man sneered and walked up. He wore a bandage over one eye and when he grinned savagely, several teeth were missing.

"Coming to toy around like the slut you are?" The man spat, "I guess you just like being a tease." The music in the club was surprisingly low, because the D.J. had turned it down so as to hear what he believed to be an epic diva-fight. It happened every other day or so. James flinched at the insult and breathed in heavily.

"Travis, we're through. You tried to force me into something I wasn't ready for and you tried to do it in a manner that was unsafe and unpleasant for me. And you hurt my boyfriend," James growled out, his eyes shining.

"Well, my destroyed eyeball requires quite a lot of plastic surgery, and money to fix thanks to your friend's daddy," Travis spat, "And I require a therapist for the mental scarring. I plan to take my therapy out on you and your boyfriend." He lunged toward James, who had put himself into a defensive position and stood ready. He was intercepted by an older man whose elegance and power emanated from him like a wave of tranquility. The crowd burst into whoops at the man. James looked up and saw that it was Ricky. The man smiled back at him, then turned a face of scorn so cold to Travis that the boy turned to stone and began babbling.

"You're pathetic," Ricky said, "Power hungry people with sadistic tendencies are part of those people that I just can't stand. Now, leave this club before you humiliate yourself more." Travis trembled and ran off the stage and out of the club. Logan climbed back on the stage and wrapped an arm around James's waist. Another person appeared on stage, this one a tall elegant black man that James remembered as one of Mr Griffin's assistants.

"Boys, what are you doing here, and how do you know Mr. Martin?" he asked sternly. The boys' mouths dropped open and turned to the man.

"You're Ricky Martin?" James squeaked. Ricky smiled and nodded, turning to the tall black man.

"How has Mr Griffin been lately, Mr Tyler," Ricky asked.

"Successful and boring as usual," Mr Tyler answered before turning back to the boys, "He has been particularly interested in the band Big Time Rush that these boys play in."

"I thought James looked familiar," Ricky said, "I've seen them in a couple pop magazines."

"Heyyy! Big Time Rush, we have several of their singles, how about letting them dance again?" The DJ chimed in, noticing the crowd getting bored. The crowd cheered and began chanting. Mr Tyler and Ricky smiled at the boys then went off to chat. James and Logan high-fived and began their choreography for "Famous"

…

Sometimes during the night, Logan ended up spending some time at the bar, sharing his joint with an older dude who bought drinks for him. James had noticed how exhausted he was and told him to go chill for a while. Every now and again, James would slip back and drag Logan back to the dance floor during his favorite songs, but let him loose after the song was over. The longer the night went on, the more sweat trickled down James's neck and the more random cocktails trickled down Logan's throat.

"I, I'm not to partial to the fruity tooty cocktails that much," Logan slurred, "I like the stronger ones like martinis. A-and the minty ones, they make my teeth feel clean, even if they taste like toothpaste," he rambled and didn't notice the older dude jacking his joint.

"So, how's it between you and the hotty?" the older guy asked, "how long you two been together,"

"Jamesy has been my best friend since middle school," Logan drawled, "and we started messing around a couple weeks ago, but we only got together this morning, I think… wow it's only been a day."

"So, you've only dated for one day?" the guy asked.

"He's…got issues, and we had always maintained the 'no in-band relationships' kinda deal. Then we had a bit of a breakdown thingy last night and now we're dating," Logan explained vaguely, "This is our first date type thing."

"Two mojitos please," the guy said to the bartender. He passed one to Logan. Logan spun on his stool and sipped from the glass.

"He obviously doesn't deserve you if he is so willing to dance around without you," the guy said, "I could show you a good time."

"No," Logan stated loudly, causing several heads to turn, "I'm not doing that player shit again. It'll hurt James too too much, and besides, I'm a top!" He took a gulp of the mojito. James popped up at his side, drenched in sweat with a concerned look on his face. He had heard the raised voice and come right away.

"You ok Logator?" James asked, staring at the half-empty highball glass and the slumped, disheveled boy spinning on the stool. Logan took another gulp of the drink and pointed accusingly at the other guy.

"This guy right here thinks he can get into my pants by buying me a couple drinks," Logan grumbled, "He stole my joint and just propositioned me. Well you can suck it cuz," he dug in his pocket and pulled out his wallet, slapping three twenties onto the counter, then sang "I'm not here for your entertainment, you don't really want to mess with me tonight, just stop and take a second. I was fine before you walked into my life, cuz you know its over, before it began. Keep your drink, just give me the money. It's just you and your hand tonight!" Logan struck a pose and began giggling.

"Ok, I think it's time to go home," James said and tugged on Logan's arm. The boy slammed the rest of the mojito back and stumbled out the door firmly attached to James.

"Have a good night, boys," the doorman said. James smiled and waved, ushering Logan along. Logan's legs stopped working just as they exited the club and he tripped. James caught him before he hit the ground and scooped him up bridal-style, resolving to carry him the rest of the way. Logan reached up and wrapped his arms around James's neck.

"You're soooo pretty," Logan giggled, "and soooo strong." He stroked the brunette's jaw. James smiled down at him with a raised eyebrow.

"And you're sooooo drunk," he teased, hefting Logan up. Logan stared off into space, thinking, and then nodded.

"Yeah, but I still know that you are the prettiest person ev-ar," Logan said, rolling his head back, "And I know that you are also the sweetest dude ever, not like that asshole at the bar. Douchebag stole my joint," Logan pouted. James chuckled.

"So you sang him Pink?" James asked, turning into the Palm Woods and heading towards the elevator.

"Seemed like the best song at the time," Logan mumbled. James just nodded and headed towards suite J.

"Did I mention you're the best boyfriend in the world?" the drunk boy murmured. James just shook his head.

"That's just the alcohol talking," he said. Logan glared and grabbed the taller boy's chin, forcing him to look down. "You listen here, I know what I'm talking about," Logan said and poked the pretty boy's nose, "Don't you forget it."

"I don't see how you can stand me," he sighed. Logan smiled and lolled his head against the muscled shoulder.

"It's cause I looove you," Logan giggled. James looked down at the drunk boy in his arms.

"Yeah, bffs forever," James said and shifted around so he could open the lock with the arm under Logan's legs, using the key he had slid from the boy's back pocket. He opened the door and walked in, kicking it closed behind them.

"No," Logan said quietly, "I love you James," he reached up and kissed him heartily. James sighed at the taste of alcohol, lime, and mint. Logan looked up at him adoringly and murmured, "I love you so much and would never ever ever hurt you."

"How could you? I'm shallow, obsessed with looks, stupid, and don't deserve someone smart and deep and funny like you," James asked, knowing that Logan wouldn't remember in the morning.

"Shhhhh," Logan hushed, stroking James's face softly, "It's because of all of that and the way that you care for your friends and try so hard to be famous because you want it so bad and yet never letting it get in the way of friendship that I love you."

James sighed and headed towards Logan's and Carlos's room with the drunken boy in his arms when he noticed the door was shut and a note was taped on it.

_Sleep in Kendall's room. I don't want to here more about the space aliens from James's dreams. _

James smirked and carted the drunken boy off to the bathroom because he had started to look green. Just as he set the boy down in front of the toilet, he upchucked sixty dollars worth of cocktails in a rainbow of colors into the porcelain throne. James rubbed his back soothingly until his stomach seemed empty. He helped his boyfriend stand up so he could rinse his mouth, brush his teeth, rinse again, and stumble out.

The taller boy steered Logan into his bed and worked on pulling off the designer clothes. Kendall lay drooling onto his pillow, deep in REM sleep, and unlikely to be awoken. James pushed one of his shirts and sweatpants onto the non-compliant Logan and himself before clambering into bed, giggling as Logan licked a stripe up his neck then snuggled against him.

* * *

So... thanks for reading! Also, I didn't get the title from Pink, I got it from Adam Lambert...


	10. Chapter 10

OK, so this one is going to be short, smutty, and fluffy juxtaposed to the next one that is going to be long and angsty. Thank you again to my reviewers, you make it all worthwhile. This also kind of goes off on rants a little...

* * *

"So glad that we don't have school," Logan moaned as he took the pills from James's hand and downed them in one gulp. James chuckled and gave him water.

"Yeah, going to school with a hang-over would suck," James said and helped Logan out of his nest of a bed. He liked a lot of pillows and blankets and had to roll sideways out in order to get up in the morning. Logan looked over and noticed Kendall had moved so that his feet were on his pillow and had started on a new drool puddle. He grimaced and turned to walk into the kitchen.

"Need…coffee," he grumbled and grabbed the biggest mug in the cupboard, loading it up with two heaping spoonfuls of sugar and filled it to the brim with hot coffee. James watched in awe as Logan poured the whole cup down his throat while it still steamed. The shorter by smacked his lips and made another, drinking this one like a normal human. He poured himself a bowl of cornflakes and settled into the table.

James opened the fridge and fished out a pudding cup from his secret stash behind the bacon. No one except Mama Knight cooked bacon, and she never cooked bacon unless she had bought replacement, and she didn't want his pudding as long as he didn't take her stash of Reese's pieces that she hid behind the hair straightened. He sat down across the table from Logan and began to spoon the goo into his mouth, moaning in delight. Logan gave him a "wtf" look.

"Pudding for breakfast?" Logan asked. James looked up from his treat and glared. He spat his spoon out into the cup.

"Hey, pudding is the best breakfast food. It has eggs and milk in it," James said and went back to having mouth sex with his pudding. Logan finished off his second cup of coffee and went back for a third.

"Dude, how much coffee can you drink?" James asked. Logan paused, spoonful of sugar on its way to the cup.

"Well, I haven't had this much in a while, but we were out late and I have a hang over and I don't want Gustavo to know about it," Logan said, "Mama Knight put me on a limit when we got here. My record for coffee consumption stands at four pots in one night." James's eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open.

"Four pots?" he asked incredulously. Logan shrugged.

"I had this mega project due and I pulled three consecutive all nighters," Logan explained, "And hockey practice to boot." James shook his head.

"I can only have one cup before I get jittery," James said and shuddered. He spooned the last bit of pudding into his mouth and began licking the cup clean, trying to get every bit of chocolate out. Logan watched, his pants tightening as he sipped his coffee and cleared his throat. James looked up.

"Bathroom. Shower. Two minutes," Logan growled. James smirked naughtily and bolted to get clothing. Logan headed into his room and picked up two other objects in addition to the pile of clothing. Carlos was mummified in his cocoon of blankets and didn't look like he would wake up. Still, Logan carefully shut the door and headed towards the bathroom.

James was already in the shower, and Logan stripped quickly to get behind him. He wrapped his arms around the taller boy's waist from behind, holding him close and pressing his erection against James's ass. James sighed when he heard a click of a lid and liquid run down into his ass. Two fingers entered him and a pair of lips kissed the back of his neck. James sighed as the fingers twisted and curled. Logan pushed in a third finger and reached up with his other hand to cover James's mouth when he pressed against his prostate. James moaned into Logan's hand, which effectively muffled most of the noise. Logan let his fingers slide out and stepped back, ripping open a foil packet and rolling on a condom. He drizzled more of the lube on his dick and stepped forward, pressing in slowly.

"Ungh," James said and hissed. Logan stroked his back with one hand and held his hip tightly with the other while slowly sliding in. When he was fully inside, he just stood pressed against James's back as the warm water poured over both of their bodies. James held tightly to the soap shelf and whined into his other hand. When he felt his body adjust to the intrusion, he gave a nod and Logan began to thrust inside of him.

"Mmm, mmm, mmm," James grunted as the shorter boy fucked him, reaching his hand down and stroking him off. He yelped into his hand as he came and his shaking legs refused to hold his entire weight, so he leaned over to rest his weight on his hands. Logan thrust in rapidly, getting closer and closer. He bit gently onto the skin of James's back and came. Gasping, he pulled out and tied the condom off, throwing it into the toilet and running a hand along James's shaking back.

"We…gotta get clean," Logan said and James nodded, reaching for the shampoo.

When they got out of the shower, as James was blow drying his hair, Logan carefully stashed his lube and condom wrappers into his dirty pants and headed off into the bedroom. Carlos and Kendall were just emerging from their respective bedrooms as he ducked into his own to hide his supplies.

…

"Ok dogs, time to get in the sound booth to practice the new song," Gustavo said and the boys stood up to go sing when they were abruptly joined by the company of Mr. Griffin and his two assistants. James and Logan noticed Mr. Tyler and exchanged looks. Gustavo noticed the looks.

"What did you dogs do?" Gustavo asked accusingly before Griffin had a chance to speak. Griffin answered.

"Mr. Tyler was at the famous Milk Bar last night when he ran across your boys," Mr. Griffin said, "As you may know, the Milk Bar is the most widely known and renowned gay dance club in the country. The rich and famous of the rainbow variety frequent the club at random. In order to get in, one must pay a 1000$ entry fee."

Everyone except James and Logan gaped, staring as if the boys had lost their minds. James smiled and explained.

"In order to get into the Milk Bar, the bouncer has to let you in," James said, "And he lets in people wearing designer clothes for 20$, and pretty people wearing designer clothes for nothing."

"Well, the boys managed to cause quite a scene last night, garner Big Time Rush a massive following with the gay community, and befriend Ricky Martin," Griffin drawled, "And I will be writing another check for your make-up department to buy them more designer clothes." The older man smiled when he noticed Gustavo's dumbfounded expression and James's silent fist pump.

"Continue with this line, I like it," Griffin said and left. Carlos and Kendall rounded on the other two.

"You're friends with Ricky Martin?" Carlos asked ecstatically.

"So're you, remember Ricky from the other night?" Logan asked.

"Seriously? You had s-ouch!" Carlos started when Kendall smacked him on the top of the head. James gave a meaningful glance toward Gustavo and nodded.

Gustavo stared at the check in his hand and back at the boys and back at the check.

"Ahhhhh?" he said and stared at Kelly, who sighed and looked at the boys.

"Just…don't come in hung-over, and don't pull a Lohan," she said and hauled them off to the sound-booth.

* * *

I saw the commercial for the movie and wondered how they would be able to make it interesting. Then it flashed to a scene where they were all tied up to chairs and I thought 'Yup, this is gonna be interesting, and rule 34 will definitely jump on it'

So, thanks for reading. I commend your perseverance for making it this far and thank you for your reviews.


	11. Chapter 11

Ok, so this is gonna be long and angsty with some nice, sweet, family moments thrown in. Thank you reviewers :)

* * *

Logan stared at his cell phone and sighed. He had to tell his mom about his relationship with James sometime. He knew that she would be ok with it, she was his mom, but his anxiety still kept him from dialing the number.

He could hear everyone eating their macaroni and cheese outside his room. Managing to slip away for a meal had been tough, but he had to get his mind together. When something crashed in the other room, a plate presumably, it made him jerk and hit his head against the wall. Logan groaned and rubbed the back of his head, furiously flipping open his phone and calling his mom's number. It rang several times and finally picked up.

"Hullo?" his mom asked drowsily. Logan cursed in his mind, realizing the two hour time difference meant it was ten in Minnesota. His mom liked her sleep.

"H-hey mom," Logan said quietly, his stomach hurting from anxiety.

"Hey sweetie, what is it?" she asked confusedly, "Is something wrong in L.A.?"

"No, mom, nothings wrong," Logan answered, gulping down a lump in his throat, "I just, I needed to tell you about something."

"What honey?" she asked calmly. That's what he loved about his mom, she didn't get angry over things.

"I, um, have been dating someone and feel really strongly about them," Logan gulped out.

"So, do you want me to talk to her? What's her name?" she asked. Logan sighed.

"That's the thing, my date isn't a her, my date is James," Logan said and curled his legs in on themselves. There was a long pause on the phone and, although he was anxious about what she might say, the pain in his stomach was starting to wane. At least it was out.

"Oh," she breathed, "Well, that's ok honey. You know that I'm open-minded about whoever you choose to date. Has everyone been treating you right about it?" she asked, concerned all of a sudden. Logan laughed in relief.

"No, mom. Everyone has been fine ever since James came out a couple weeks ago, we just got together a few days ago," Logan said, "God, I was so scared."

"I love you honey, no matter what you do," his mom sighed, "but has James told his parents yet? I'm afraid of their reactions more than anyone else's,"

"No," Logan said, "he hasn't told them."

"He shouldn't keep things from his parents despite their misgivings," she said, "it only leads to problems."

"Yeah, I guess," Logan sighed.

"Want me to tell Dad?" his mom asked.

"Can you? I can never get a hold of him because he's always working on a case," Logan asked.

"Sure honey," she said, then paused, "I have to know something, Logan."

"What?"

"Do you love James?" she asked seriously. Logan paused, rubbed his face, and sighed.

"Yeah, Mama," he sighed, "I love him more than I thought I could…"

"That's good, because that poor boy needs it," she declared, "now, I have to work in the morning, so I'm hanging up on you."

"Ok mom, I hope for good weather," Logan said.

"Oh, so you do still care if ol' ma mail carrier gets rained on here in Minnesota," she joked.

"Don't have to worry about weather here!" Logan said and paused, "Love ya mom,"

"Bye hun," she said and the phone clicked. Logan sighed and leaned back happily. It was such a relief to get that off his chest.

He left the bedroom and sat down to eat a small bowl of macaroni and cheese. Scooby Doo shaped macaroni and cheese, because Carlos demanded them.

"Hey, so what did you have to talk to your mom about?" James asked.

"I told her about us," Logan answered. James stopped eating and stared across the table.

"Why did you do that?" James asked, raising his voice, "She could tell my parents!" Carlos and Kendall stood up and left, heading towards Carlos's bedroom to look at a really cool magazine. They left the door slightly cracked and watched.

"I told her because keeping secrets from your parents isn't a good idea. My mom's cool, and she won't tell your parents," Logan said, "but you should still tell yours, seeing as how you do have a boyfriend who is very committed to you." James stood up and walked around the room. He ran a hand through his hair.

"Dude, you don't understand my parents," James said emphatically, "My dad's the one who belted me when he found out I was wearing eyeliner and looking through fashion magazines. 'Spare the rod' and 'God hates Fags,' and so forth. He would drag me out of here by my hair or disown me!" Logan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Look, what if they come and visit and find that we're dating?" Logan asked, "We can't possibly keep this whole relationship a secret because we know way too many people who know we're together."

"So?" James squealed, "This is why I didn't want a relationship in the band, because I can always lie about someone else."

"Oh, so you would lie about me then?" Logan asked indignantly. James sighed.

"It would be preferable to being dragged screaming from L.A. and home to repentance," James said, "It would probably be better if we just didn't continue this relationship and I just went back to dating girls."

At this, Kendall went to jump up and get involved, but Carlos grabbed his shirt and kept him. He put a finger over his lips, Logan could handle this.

Logan's face softened from self-righteous anger to sympathetic frustration.

"James," Logan said softly, "Baby, you can't let your parents keep you locked up in the closet. You have to break their hold from you." He stepped closer to the brunette and gently touched his clenched jaw. James looked away, his eyes sparkling.

"I don't know how," James croaked. Logan gently pulled James's chin down and kissed him. Kendall sighed and leaned back, knowing it would be ok now.

"First, you have to tell them the truth about you," Logan said as he broke the kiss, his arms loosely around James's waist.

"What if they try to take me back to Minnesota," James asked. Logan let his hand slide just under James's shirt and stroke the soft skin just above his jeans.

"We have a record company who is writing giant checks to dress us up to go to gay dance clubs, my dad is a lawyer, and we know Ricky Martin, they won't be able to take you away, and you have a contract that they signed when they learned that you were going to be a pop star," Logan explained. James sighed and leaned down, pressing his forehead against Logan's.

"I'm still afraid," James murmured. Logan pressed a gentle kiss to the taller boy's lips.

"I'll be with you," Logan murmured and bit gently at the underside of James's chin.

"Why are you so good to me," James asked quietly as he giggled at the way Logan's teeth tickled. Logan sighed and tucked his head up against James's neck, arms encircling the taller boy tightly. He listened to the heartbeat in the jugular and the throat muscles opening and closing.

"Cuz I love you," Logan said softly. James squeezed his eyes shut and hugged Logan tightly to his chest.

"I love you too," James sighed.

"I would sex you up right now, but Carlos and Kendall are watching," Logan said.

"Dude!" Kendall yelled and accidentally lurched forward from his crouch against the door and spilled out on the floor. James chuckled gently, even as Logan felt the heartbeat racing in the taller boy's throat.

"Ok, there are going to be rules about this whole relationship thing," Carlos said emphatically, "Like no sex in my bed."

"Or mine," Kendall chimed in.

"Or on the couch,"

"Or on the table,"

"Or my mom's bed,"

"Or the counters,"

"Or Katie's bed,"

"And if you do it on the swirly slide, I will kill you," Carlos ended and stomped toward the cupboard.

"You guys act like we're sexaholic deviants," Logan giggled, still snuggled against James, "We've only done it twice,"

"Well, it's bad enough that you did it in the shower; don't do it places that can't easily be washed. Over and over again," Kendall said and grimaced. James glanced down at Logan, then back up at Kendall.

"How did you know we did it in the shower," James asked. Kendall glared at him.

"The walls are quite thin and I found half of a condom wrapper on the bottom of the shower. You gotta be more careful when my mom and Katie get home or it's gonna get real awkward," Kendall responded sat down. Logan squeezed James then pulled back slightly.

"Wanna do it right now?" Logan asked.

"With Kendall and Carlos watching? They just gave us a list about where not to do it," James asked. Logan snorted and swatted James's ass.

"No, idiot," Logan said, "I mean call your parents." James sighed.

"Yeah, in the same way I want my wisdom teeth out without anesthetics," James complained. Logan looked him in the eye, so he answered softly, "Ok, let's do it."

A few minutes later, James sat staring at his phone and biting his lip on the couch. Logan sat beside him, Carlos sat on a bean bag chair near the window, and Kendall was chatting with Jo and Camille in the kitchen. They looked over a couple times concernedly, so even though James couldn't tell what they were saying, he knew they were talking about him.

"You can do this," Logan murmured and ran a comforting hand over James's bicep. James sighed and nodded, flipping open his phone. Logan leaned back a little so as not to eavesdrop, but stayed close enough so James knew he was with him. James put the phone to his ear and waited. Logan could hear the dial tone end.

"Hey dad," James said quietly, "I have something I need to tell you about, something that you aren't going to like very much."

A pause. Logan couldn't hear what James's dad said in response. The brunette took a deep breath.

"Dad, I'm gay and have a boyfriend," James said firmly. Another pause, then Logan could hear his dad yelling. James shrank in his seat and listened for several minutes before finding his voice.

"Dad, no, I'm not playing a prank or a joke, I swear," James stuttered, and he stopped speaking again, curling in on himself with each approaching minute. When he began to tremble, Logan sat up straighter, getting more and more worried.

"Dad, please stop," James choked out, his body balled up and oddly paralyzed by whatever his father was saying, "Dad, please, I'm still Jimmy boy, I still like hockey, I just love a boy." James jerked like he was electrocuted and wrapped his available arm around his bent knees. Then his jaw tightened.

"No, this is how I am and I can't change who I am," James whispered and paused "Is mom there? What does she say?" James asked, biting his lip, before becoming utterly still, his face completely blank. He held the phone away from his ear and stared at it, uncomprehendingly. Logan looked forward to see that the phone call had ended.

"He hung up," Logan voiced. James let his arm drop and stared into space. Everyone in the suite stared, waiting for a reaction. Logan reached forward and put a hand onto James's shoulder. James stared at the hand for a second, then slowly rolled into Logan's arms and absorbed the comfort that the smaller boy was giving.

"He gave me the whole 'I have no son' line, and told me he should have beaten the fag out of me when he had a chance, that I was a disgrace and that it would have been better had he kept me in Minnesota to enroll in the Marines after high school so that I would die in nobility as opposed to dieing of some disease I caught riding some fag's dick like a fucking slut. He told me I should commit suicide, then he gave me the choice of either going to gay camp or being disinherited from every person in the family and I said no," James said monotonously, as if in shock. Carlos stood up from his bean bag and was kicking chairs over. Jo listened horrified from Kendall's embrace, seeking comfort and giving it to someone whose best friend was in horrible emotional pain. Camille just stared with a look of sorrow on her face.

Logan stiffened briefly before all but clambering into James's lap, throwing his legs over the other boy's so as to uncurl him and wrapping his arms around the taller boy's shoulders. James still hadn't provided any reaction, but Logan supposed that would come later. Right now, Logan just needed to provide some sort of ground to keep James from retreating into some other universe, and the only way he knew how was to have as much of his body in contact with the taller boy's as possible.

Carlos came back with the bottle of tequila and six shot glasses. Camille, Jo, and Kendall came to share a space on the couch. The Latino boy pulled a couple limes out of his pocket and a salt shaker. He looked to Kendall, who threw him his trusty pocketknife, and set to work slicing limes up. He filled up all of the shot glasses. He picked up one and a slice of lime.

"This is the procedure for shots of tequila," Carlos said, lapping at the junction of his thumb and index finger and pouring a few granules of salt on it, "My sister taught me, lick the salt, pound the shot, and suck the lime." He demonstrated. James leaned forward and picked up the next shot glass and a lime. His hand went around Logan's back to prevent him from flying forward off of his lap. Then he sloppily pounded the shot back. The others followed suit and pounded back their shots.

When the bottle had been depleted, Carlos sat back and watched the situation he had created. The alcohol had been just enough to let down the guards of all of the occupants of the room. Logan was now straddling James's hips, engaged in not a tongue duel, but a mouth battle and was moving his hips in a downward motion that was most certainly moving both towards jizzing in their pants. Camille and Jo had begun pawing at each other across Kendall's lap, and by the looks of it, Kendall wasn't bothered at all with the fact that his girlfriend and her friend were going at it. His hands ran under both of their shirts, feeling their skin as they groped at each other and him. Carlos sighed.

"I need to get laid," he grumbled and went to his room, leaving the scene in the living room.

…

The next morning, James still hadn't shown any real reaction from his phone call, and instead was lying under a shirtless Logan without a shirt and with his pants around his ankles. Logan managed to get off of him when the bright light of day shined down on his eyes and made sleeping much too painful a prospect. He pushed himself up, buttoned his pants, and stumbled past the pile of limbs that was Camille, Jo, and Kendall. Shirts and pants lay draped over various pieces of furniture.

Logan put on the pot of coffee and went to find Carlos, who was suspiciously missing. He found the boy when he almost stepped on the arm protruding from underneath the bed. Peering underneath, Logan noticed the Latino boy wore only boxers and was breathing, and so left him to his slumber.

The coffee dripped steadily in the main room. Logan noticed that Camille and Jo wore only their bras and underwear and were thoroughly entwined in each other on top of a Kendall that wore only boxers and socks. Thankfully, none of these decided to expose themselves completely, or it would have gotten a hell of a lot more awkward. Logan sighed and began to walk back to get his coffee when a warm chest pressed up against his back. Logan leaned back his head to rest on the taller shoulder and craned it up to kiss the soft lips that pressed down against his.

"How are you doing?" Logan asked quietly and felt rather than saw the shrug as James stepped back away from him.

"Fine," James murmured and went to the bathroom. Logan heard the shower and furrowed his eyebrow in confusion. They had been sharing showers ever since they had gotten together and today was the last time they would be able to unless Mama and Katie Knight were gone again. They were on their way home today.

…

Logan had known there was something deeply wrong with James when he would freeze up and change the subject whenever someone asked him how he was. James was avoiding human contact and kept to himself, and Logan had no idea how to help him. His attempts to comfort him, embrace him, kiss him better were shrugged off.

"We have to tell Mama Knight about all of this," Logan said and made a sweeping gesture, indicating the entire relationship. James nodded and went to a different part of the room. Logan sighed and gave him his space; the shorter boy figured that the rejection of parents hurt a lot and that James needed some time alone.

"Hey everybody! How much of the suite is destroyed!" Mrs. Knight asked as she burst into the suite with suitcases in hand. Kendall went forth to kiss his mother on the cheek and grab her hand.

"Logan and James have some interesting news to tell you," Kendall said and sat her down at the kitchen table. Logan came to sit down across from her and James walked over and stood with his arms folded behind Logan.

"Well, while you were gone, James and I got together," Logan said, "I told my parents and he told his parents. Mine were accepting, but his didn't accept him and told him some hurtful things." Logan winced and looked over his shoulder at the sullen boy. Mrs. Knight's face softened and she stood up, walked over to him, and pulled him into a hug despite his stiffened posture and murmured protests.

"Oh James, I'm so sorry," she whispered and began stroking his hair. Slowly, his arms went from stiff and at his sides to hugging her back, and the face buried into her much shorter shoulders began to lose its tension and began to sob. She maneuvered him to the couch and began to rock him slowly back and forth as he sobbed into her breast.

"I feel like I've lost them forever, it's worse than if they had died because I know they don't love me," James sobbed out as Mrs. Knight's matronly arms, so used to comforting her sobbing children as they cried for their dead father, steadily gave him the comfort he needed, the comfort of a mother.

That night, Logan lay in bed alone for the first time since he and James had gotten together and sighed, wondering how their relationship would last if the world kept throwing curveballs at them. But his thoughts dissipated immediately when a weight caused his bed to sink down slightly and a warm body snuggled against him. Logan turned over and wrapped his arms around the brunette, pulling him into a fierce embrace. Their mouths met in a kiss that was sweet and succulent and simple, and James finally allowed himself to be cuddled by his boyfriend, and Logan knew how their relationship would survive the curveballs.

* * *

You can read this if you want, but it's a true story. It's where I draw my fear from as a lesbian, and where I draw my power from because of that fear. It's a story of the tragedy of homophobia within a family. Names have been changed.

I was rooming with my friend for a tournament when she got a call from her best friend, who I will refer to as Ed. Ed had tried committing suicide before, and so my friend was very worried when she learned of this story. His best friend, who I will refer to as George, had confessed that he was gay and was in love with Ed a few days earlier. Ed told him that he didn't see him that way, that he was straight, etc, but that he still was accepting. George later confessed to his parents, who had always been cruel to him, that he was gay. They told him to get out and that he would be better dead. George then texted Ed, who was in school, something along the lines of "I'm sorry I ever burdened you, I'm sorry I burdened the world, by the time you read this, I will be dead." And when Ed got out of school, he went home to see that his best friend had shot himself in the head on his front yard.

I have never heard of a logical argument against homosexuality in my entire life. I'm convinced that they don't exist, and until someone gives me one, I will continue to feel animosity towards those who are against homosexuality as a principle. I have no problem with people who are against slash fanfics, as long as they don't bother me they can go ahead and read about MarySues falling in love with characters, but to hate people because of who they choose to love seems so backwards.I feel that the society doesn't do enough to protect gays, and I feel that schools should have a more active role. That's why I'm becoming a teacher in hopes of changing that.

Sorry for my rant, but that story has been itching at me since it happened a few months ago. I feel the need to tell it because for every Kurt Hummel being defended by his dad, there is a George who ends up dead on the lawn of his love.

Thanks for reading. Please review :)


	12. Chapter 12

Endings suck, but are incredibly necessary

* * *

"No,"

"Please?"

"No,"

"C'mon, you know that this is important and that it has to be important,"

"So why not rent a hotel room? Why in the Big Time Rushmobile?"

"Because I know of the perfect place only accessible by car,"

"Seriously? No other way?"

"I'm serious. I'll sterilize the seats and everything,"

"Really? There's no other way you can do this?"

"I'll do your laundry."

"Fine," Kendall growled and tossed Logan the keys.

…

"So, where are we going?" James asked, leaning out the passenger seat, hair blowing in the wind, "I mean, I love hanging in the BTRmobile, but shouldn't we be packing? The tour bus is gonna arrive at 4 a.m. and we don't even get the luxury of riding in it because you are going to be driving."

"Just hang tight," Logan said and flipped on his turn signal, "this is gonna be worth your while,"

The sky was just starting to orange as the car soared up the highway and turned off onto a smaller path. James looked around and didn't notice any road signs. He looked around the car and noticed the lack of GPS and map for the first time since he had entered the car.

"Hey, you know where you're going, right?" James asked nervously. Logan reached down and grabbed the large, tan hand.

"Yep," he said, "I've been down this route about fifty times," James sighed and relaxed, letting the quietness of the night air fill him with tranquility. Logan turned left onto a route that winded up through the mountains. James noticed the wildlife became more and more daring, and several times Logan braked to watch a deer pick its way through the brush only to bolt after realizing the boys sitting and watching.

When Logan pulled up to the edge of a precipice, James let his mouth drop open. The sun was setting the sky a fiery orange as the black city line began to turn its lights on. The Hollywood sign sat opposite of them.

"Good lord," James muttered and turned to Logan, who had turned the car off and the radio on. The two fist bumped when they realized that the song was "Shot in the Dark" and it was playing on a quite popular station.

"Who would have guessed we could come so far," James wondered aloud. Logan sighed.

"Had this never happened, I would be taking AP classes and studying up for colleges with a pre-med," Logan said.

"Had this never happened, I would be sitting in my room dreaming still," James murmured. He looked over and noticed that Logan had pulled out a joint.

"I thought you were done with those?" James asked, remembering the time that one had fallen out of his pocket and into the cereal bowl, prompting a scolding by Mama Knight. Logan had ceased and desisted his pot smoking since.

"It's a special occasion," Logan said and took a hit, leaning over and pressing his lips into the taller boy's and exhaling. James skillfully inhaled and passed it back.

"What's the occasion?" he asked.

"Today's the three month anniversary of the day you told me you were gay," Logan whispered and took another hit. James shot gunned the hit and let it draft out his mouth slowly.

"I was so insecure," James said quietly, "I thought you were going to tell the others and kick me out of the band and hate me."

"Yeah, well, I had the hots for you too, I just never thought I had a chance with you being straight," Logan explained.

"Then it took me a month and two horrible boyfriends before I finally got over that stupid 'no relationships in the band' thing," James mumbled.

"I'm so glad you did," Logan said and leaned up, pressing his mouth to the brunettes in a way more intoxicating than all the cocktails and joints in L.A. that had the taller boy's eyes sparkling with lust when he pulled away.

"Let's get in the back seat," Logan murmured as his hand pressed against the other boy's bulging pants.

"They told us no sex in the car," James said huskily, in a way that meant he didn't care either way.

"I got permission, and we've been good for over a month and not had any sex at all except for a hand job or blowjob," Logan said as his mouth pressed again against James's.

"All the, dancing and vocal preparation, the rehearsing, really cuts into happy time," James panted, "I hope we get time, during tour."

"We have time now," Logan breathed and tumbled over the backs of the front seats, taking James with him. A blanket was spread across the back seat and a bottle of lube lay on the floor of the car.

"Because they tested us as an insurance precaution, and as we are both clean clean clean, I don't think we need to use a condom," Logan murmured as he sloppily molested James's neck, "Unless you're worried about getting pregnant." James moaned and stroked up under Logan's sweatshirt to feel the burning skin beneath. He lifted the shirt off of Logan, breaking the kiss briefly and feeling hands remove his own shirt.

"Knock me up, baby," James growled.

They sat shirtless in the backseat of the car with the stars above them and with no fear that anyone would show up. The place was secluded, and the cool air of night chilled them as their progressively nakeder bodies became exposed to the air. However, the cooler it seemed, the hotter the energy beneath them got, so that the heat of their bodies warmed them to the point of bittersweet agony.

Logan pushed James back until the boy lay looking up at him from the seat in only his boxers. Logan shimmied out of his own underwear before leaning forward between his boyfriend's spread legs and licking the outline of the fat cock through the soft fabric. James moaned and jerked his hips, but Logan's hand held them firmly to the seat. Using his teeth, the shorter boy removed James's boxers and he dropped them to the floor.

Logan subtly coated his fingers in lube as he pressed kisses to the erect member and slipped in his three fingers. James moaned as the stretch, just barely on the side of pain that brought the best pleasure. In the few times they had sex, Logan managed to balance out the delicate balance of pain and pleasure needed to make James cum so hard he saw other dimensions, but never enough to really hurt him. With a twist of his fingers and a lick up the underside of the erection, Logan drew a strangled cry out of his lover and smiled.

He spread lubricant onto his cock and inched forward. This was the first time they had sex bareback, and neither was prepared for the amount of intimacy it brought to the sex. Logan gasped as the head of his cock was enveloped into the pink ring of muscles, astounded by the heat that James held inside of him. James gasped like a fish out of water as Logan slowly slid in and leaned forward to caress James's pink mouth tenderly with his own.

Logan felt like he was in the center of the sun, even as the stars of the city lights and light of the dashboard barely illuminated the pleasure contorted face of his boyfriend as he thrusted into him. Sweat poured down and dripped and soaked into James, who mewled loudly every time Logan's cock hit the spot inside of him like a cattle prod of pleasure.

Pressure began to build up in Logan's stomach and James's whimpers turned to shouts which then turned to screams. Logan dug his fingernails into the others back and thrust in jerkily, causing James to tense up, then arch his back with a loud scream of pleasure as he came explosively onto their chests. Logan yelled similarly as the orgasm that tore through James triggered his own, causing him to thrust wildly into the taller boy's body and finally collapse down on top of him. Panting and shaking, the two lay boneless for many minutes as the radio played out the last few beats of a song they hadn't recognized.

The next day would bring with it more adventures, and the tour would certainly bring its own problems, but the boys laying under the stars together could only revel in the one perfect moment before the sunlight could bring its chaos unto them.

* * *

I feel bad for ending this, but I honestly can't continue the plot further with this storyline. Thanks for going on this journey with me, it's been splendid and has rekindled the literary muse. I'm trying to write an original novel right now, so the sequel for this (touring) will probably not start until next season of Big Time Rush because I also start school in the next couple of weeks. Thank you to all of the reviewers for giving me encouragements!

Love,

Shadowlev


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